unvalued inner life

Do You Value Your Inner Life?

 

I completed the Tribe Writers course and found myself doing a lot of introspection. I needed to determine what now? I looked back over my journey and my writing and had these questions.

Am I applying what I’ve learned? Am I being clear? Am I providing value?

Why should you read what I write?

 

I write about the inner life. I believe it is the most valuable part of our lives. I believe everyone should have a healthy inner life.

I had a very unhealthy one before and it was not a good thing.

 

But what is it? This thing called the inner life.

 

It’s what goes on inside us. Where we don’t see with our eyeballs. Where we don’t always pay attention.

It’s our thoughts, feelings, memories, decisions, hopes, dreams, hurts, opinions, attitudes, sense of purpose and value, etc.

 

It’s where we get hung up and have problems. It’s the part we tend to hide.

It’s where fear and shame seek to build a home.

It’s messy.

Many avoid dealing with the inner life for that very reason. It takes courage to deal with our inner mess.

 

And why should you value your inner life?

Because everything, and I mean everthing, in our outer lives flow out of our inner life.

 

Life itself is messy whether we choose to deal with our inner life or not. Dealing with our inner life doesn’t make everything perfect but it does empower us.

 

Dealing with our inner life doesn’t make everything perfect but it does empower us. Click To Tweet

 

Thoughts are unruly. Emotions are messy. But that doesn’t make them bad.

 

I’m still making peace with that myself. I’ve made a lot of progress in my journey, but I’m still learning.

I understand information but that doesn’t automatically translate into action. I do dumb things. I get upset at myself.

 

This is where a healthy dose of self-compassion is needed. Self-compassion is part of a healthy inner life.

Self-compassion is part of a healthy inner life. Click To Tweet

In my writing, when I get on a roll my words aren’t always pretty, grammatically correct, or even make sense. It’s messy.

I edit a lot because I was raised to be nice and proper and polite and learned King James Version Christianity.

 

But inside me? It’s not always nice or proper or polite or King Jimmy. My inner life is messy.

I have a strong faith but it’s not neat and organized. It’s messy.

I have questions without answers.

But that no longer scares me. His perfect love has gotten rid of that fear.

 

I finally got it through my stubborn fat head and broken traumatized heart he is not angered by our questions but finds joy in our curiosity. His Love healed me.

I’ve come through so many things in my life and grown tremendously. The more I learn, the more questions I have.

 

I love this quote I found.

Questions are the tools of the explorer; they are the treasure maps and flashlights of the heart hunter. By them we find the trails and tunnels into the inner life of another human heart. – Sam Williamson

 

I write about the inner life because healing mine changed my life.

I don’t want to come across like some know it all guru trying to fix you.

 

I can’t fix you. I can’t fix me.

What I can do is love you because I have learned how to love me.

 

And you know how I learned to love myself?

I finally came to believe that I am loved, deeply loved in spite of my inner mess. It took me a horridly long time. Years.

I can save you time by sharing what I’ve learned.

 

We’re all messy inside. But we are loved – mess and all.

That messy inner life? It fuels our outer life.

inner mess or garden

And the grace of the loving God I know (aka The Pursuer) is more than enough to love us into wholeness.

When our inner life is not valued, ugly things happen.

But if we will love our self enough to care about our inner life we can become like a watered garden.

 

Even the best of gardens need constant tending.  Likewise, our inner life needs constant tending also.

So that is what I write about. The messy inner life. It’s not superficial, it goes deep.

That is where I live – in the deep.

 

“Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much. But you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.” ― Tori Amos

 

Are you brave enough to look inside you? You’re not alone.

I’ll hold your rope so you don’t fall in that dark scary abyss of what you don’t know.

#TraumaIsPersonal #HealingHappensTogether #DontForgetToLaugh

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Danielle Bernock
Author, Coach, and Speaker helping men, women, and organizations EMERGE with clear vision of their value, TAKE ownership of their choices, and CHART a path to their promise, becoming Victorious Souls who Embrace The Change from survive to thrive through the power of the love of God

Danielle Bernock

Author, Coach, and Speaker helping men, women, and organizations EMERGE with clear vision of their value, TAKE ownership of their choices, and CHART a path to their promise, becoming Victorious Souls who Embrace The Change from survive to thrive through the power of the love of God

This Post Has 10 Comments

  1. Michael

    Good job of telling it like it is! I believe that if we don’t tend to our inner life, someone or something else (the world at large) will, and then we will be in big trouble.

    1. Danielle Bernock

      Thank you and I could not agree more.

  2. nancyhvest

    I have been in the thick of things for about 2.5 years now, and more things are on the horizon. My inner life is messy, and I have learned to pour it all out to Him – the pretty and the not-so-pretty. I’m getting better at self-care, but still struggle with remembering I have to value myself as much as I value my family. Thanks for sharing your reality. It makes me see mine clearer and know that I am not battling this alone.

    1. Danielle Bernock

      Thank you for sharing Nancy. Glad my words brought you clarity and comfort. Self-care is so important. It was something I failed to grasp until I saw my life as a garden. If I give everything I am away, my garden is depleted and can’t produce anything for anyone. Taking care of myself is not just for my benefit, but for others as well. Come back anytime for encouragement or reminders. #youarenotalone

  3. Boy, can I resonate with messiness! When I learned that God loves me no matter what, it set me free from a lot of bondage. Thanks for reminding us to take care of our souls. In this unexamining age of ours, this is solid advice!

    1. Danielle Bernock

      You’re welcome Frank. It’s not only important to know God’s love is unconditional, it’s also powerful as your experience shows – FREEDOM! Thanks for sharing.

  4. Great post. And, wow, love that quote by Tori Amos.

    1. Danielle Bernock

      Thank you, Nicole. I love it too.

  5. Kate Findley

    Very true. Even though I’ve been a writer my whole life, introspection has always been uncomfortable for me. I don’t like to write about my feelings and it’s hard for me to talk about them even to those closest to me. I’ve realized that only by looking within myself, though, can I begin to address some of those aspects of myself that are causing the discomfort.

    1. Danielle Bernock

      You’re not alone in feeling uncomfortable with feelings.
      With time it gets a little easier or maybe it just seems so because we understand the value of pressing through the discomfort.
      I’m happy for you that you press through. It’s the only way to become free.

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