Just say NO

How To Use Your NO To Change Your Life

Life is full of obstacles and throws curveballs at us. It happens to everyone. How you deal with it determines what happens next. Will you allow it to destroy you? Or will you exhibit the determination and persistence seen in many a toddler? Will you slam your foot down saying NO! and refuse to quit or be defeated?

I have a friend who was born with cerebral palsy and Asperger’s syndrome. The doctor gave his mother no hope that he would ever crawl.

She didn’t listen to the doctor. In her heart, she said NO!

Refusing to believe her son would not crawl she worked with him herself. She did creative and progressive things to cause his brain to register the feeling in his feet.

Many did not approve.

She did not care.

Observing her son had a fascination with extension cords she got an idea.

She placed her son on the floor, setting the extension cord just outside of his reach. He wiggled and struggled to reach it. Eventually, he did.

She moved it outside of his reach again. He struggled to reach it and again, he did.

She did this over and over until…he crawled!

Over and over she tested him.

Over and over he crawled to the cord.

She scooped him up and grabbed the cord. Then drove to the doctor’s office and barged into the room where the doctor was with a patient.

As the receptionist and doctor were objecting to her behavior she retorted watch! Then she threw the cord down the hall on the floor and set her son down next to her.

Without hesitation, he crawled all the way to the cord.

The doctor was dumbfounded.

This mother’s refusal to accept the hopelessness the doctor dished out changed my friend’s life.

It made the impossible, possible.

My friend is now a grown man who drives, holds down a job, lives on his own and teaches others.

What if his mother would have listened to the naysayers instead of holding to her own NO!?

NO! I refuse to quit or be defeated! Click To Tweet

Stuff happens. We have choices.

There is a woman named Bethany Hamilton. Talk about a curveball. She was thirteen years old when a shark bit her arm off while she was surfing. She almost died. She could have been afraid. Yet, she refused to have her dream of surfing stolen.

One month after the shark attack she was back in the water. 

Talk about a foot stomping NO!

Bethany was fortunate to be surrounded by many that supported her NO! She not only returned to surfing but has exceeded all expectations. Read more here.

Not everyone is so fortunate.

My friend’s mom was surrounded by people hurling hopelessness and criticism at her like clods of dirt.

But she held to her NO! Like this donkey, she trampled their dirt under her feet.

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off! – Author Unknown


A whole group of people gave up on and tried to bury the donkey alive.

But he said NO! and it saved his life.

No! I refuse to be buried. I will not go under! Click To Tweet

While writing my book Emerging With Wings, I discovered I had utilized that foot stomping NO! I saw how powerful it was. Every victory I secured had begun with that NO!

It did not matter that I didn’t know how to overcome the poverty, chronic illness and aftermath of emotional trauma I was dealing with. I was miserable and I refused to stay that way.

person on mountain quote

That NO! empowered me to search for the answers I needed.

I became like the little boy digging through the manure in this story.

Once there were five-year-old twin boys, one a pessimist and the other an optimist.
Wondering how two boys who seemed so alike could be so different, their parents took them to a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist took the pessimist to a room piled high with new toys, expecting the boy to be thrilled. But instead he burst into tears. Puzzled, the psychiatrist asked, “don’t you want to play with these toys?” 
“Yes,” the little boy bawled, “but if I did I’d only break them.”

Next the psychiatrist took the optimist to a room piled high with horse manure. The boy yelped with delight, clambered to the top of the pile, and joyfully dug out scoop after scoop, tossing the manure into the air with glee.

“What on earth are you doing?” the psychiatrist asked. “Well,” said the boy, beaming

 “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

Author unknown ~


NO! I will not give up. There has to be a pony in here somewhere! Click To Tweet

Curveballs and obstacles come in all shapes and sizes.

What is seeking to destroy your hopes and dreams, or ruin your life?

You can say NO!

You can take courage, fight back and accomplish the impossible, like my friend’s mom.

You can take a loss and turn it into a win, like Bethany.

And you can have help. The Pursuer promises to help us. You do not have to do it alone.

The saying is true: Where there is a will there is a way!

I have been learning the way of The Pursuer and it is always for our benefit.


The way of The Pursuer is always for my benefit. There is hope in front of me! Click To Tweet

No matter how severe or hopeless your obstacle or curveball makes you feel. 

There is hope in front of you.

Don’t give up. Don’t be silenced. Determination pays off. Refuse to quit, be buried or discouraged.

Even when people try to deter you like a guy named Bartimaeus who was blind and through his NO! received his sight again.

Stomp your foot and say out loud right now:

NO! I refuse to be defeated and I will not quit!

Have you experienced the power of your NO!? Share in the comments where you need to, or your victory story where you have.  #healinghappenstogether Let’s encourage one another.

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8 thoughts on “How To Use Your NO To Change Your Life

  1. Another awesome read, Dani! ….which comes just at the right time. Love how God works like that. Thank you for the gift of your insight and obedience to the Lord! Blessings!!

  2. This was exactly what I needed to hear tonight! I’ve been making some tough choices this week and this has given me the courage to move ahead with what I know is the right thing to do! Looking forward to reading more from you! 🙂

  3. “No” can be positive? Thank you for changing the perspective to positive! No doesn’t always have to negative or a sign of failure? Although it is still true we all still like the word “yes” much better.
    I so appreciate you and your articles. Please keep them coming. I fell a little behind reading over the holidays but do savor a good read when I allot the time. Well done my friend💐

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