messy life

The Power of Knowing You’re Loved in Your Messy Life

Do you know how powerful it is to know you’re loved? Your immediate response might be yes, of course. But do you really?

I know I didn’t.

I knew how painful and powerless it was to not know it.

It wasn’t until I crossed the line I understood.

What line am I talking about?


We all have messy inner lives.

In a previous article, I brought up how we all have messy lives, messy inner lives.

It took me a long time to be able to admit I did.

I knew it, but I hid it.

I hid it like clutter thrown in a closet when someone new comes over to visit.


I hid it because I was ashamed.

I hid it because I was afraid.

Afraid of judgment. Afraid it would cause more loss in my life. Loss of love. From people, but also from God.

I thought I was supposed to have it all together.

I’m an adult now. Don’t adults have it all together?

I believe in Jesus. Doesn’t that mean I’m supposed to be all perfect and holy and act right all the time?

That’s ridiculous.


But my emotions and mindsets said otherwise.

My insides betrayed me.

The core of knowing you’re loved goes beyond being loved by your parents, your spouse, your friends, and family.

The love of those around you is important but if it is your foundation of believing you’re loved it will fall short.

People fail and those who love you will fail.

You will have times you feel unloved by them.

It’s not necessarily their fault. Although there are people in therapy who’d disagree with that.

But I learned that first hand. I’ve been in counseling. I felt unloved.

I traced it back to things my parents and other people did in my life. And it did affect me.

But knowing you’re loved goes deeper.

There is no real life without knowing you’re loved. Click To Tweet


I had no trouble believing I was loved when I was following the rules and behaving in ways people expected or I felt were proper.

But when I failed.

When the messy parts of me spilled out uncontrolled I felt unloved.

Even worse, I believed my messiness was sinful and separated me from God.

I believed a lie.

When the messy parts of me spilled out uncontrolled I felt unloved. Click To Tweet

But, I’m not the only one.

The truth is, it’s hard for us to believe.

To know we are loved.

I googled why is it hard to know you’re loved? and got 738,000,000 results!!


In every heart there is a hollow. Locked against the pain it’s known

 – Jason Grey (If You Want to Love Someone)

Bad things happen and pain speaks loud.

Trauama is personal quote

Sure, I’d been told God loved me.

But the underground mess that had been shoved down deep below under layers of trauma and unaddressed pains had a voice that said except for this or except for that.

There was always an escape clause.


Until the Spirit of Grace entered my pain,

unraveled the lies,

healed my heart,

and cast out the fear of separation.


Coming to know and believe and accept and be fully convinced that I am loved, deemed lovable, declared worthy, esteemed valuable, made righteous, as is, no fine print changed my life.

Do you know?


Knowing you’re loved in your messy life is powerful.


There’s a difference between knowing in your head and knowing in your heart. The difference is being fully convinced so no one can tell you otherwise.

Knowing you’re loved gives you courage.

Courage to admit your inner messiness exists.

Knowing you’re loved gives you peace.

Peace to accept you have an inner messiness.

Knowing you’re loved gives you compassion.

Compassion to forgive the inner messes you caused.

Knowing you’re loved gives you power.

Power to do something about your inner messes – give them to the one who loves you.


Knowing you’re loved in your messy life is powerful. Click To Tweet

Now I know I am loved. Deeply loved.

No matter what.

So are you.

There is no mess, no sin, nothing that can separate you from the love God has for you.


That is the line I crossed.

The love of God is not conditional.

It is not dependant on me in any way.

The love of God is unconditional and I want to be saturated with it.


I donate blood regularly.

Every time I do I marvel at the power of blood in our lives.

When my mom was fighting cancer she had to receive blood transfusions to live.

The Bible says our life is in the blood. I don’t understand.

I understand the words people use to explain it, but I still don’t get it.

I have so many questions. But I trust the Love.

There is no real life without knowing you’re loved.


This is love that had to bleed. I know that you don’t understand.

Give me all your pride. Give me all your fears. Give me all your secrets and all your tears.

Give me all your doubts. Give me all your shame. Watch them wash away. – Sidewalk Prophets


What now?

  • If you’ve been ashamed of your mess, get the book Emerging With Wings here.
  • For help knowing you are loved, get the eBook Love’s Manifesto FREE here.
  • Don’t hide your mess from the one who loves you.
  • If this spoke to you, let me know in the comments.
  • Share this with a friend.



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4 thoughts on “The Power of Knowing You’re Loved in Your Messy Life

    1. You’re welcome, Shayne. I see evidence of it in how you spelled my name. I know you know it’s Danielle and not Daniel lol. Happy to hear this made you feel great.

  1. Yes, Danielle, “There is no mess, no sin, nothing that can separate you from the love God has for you.” I’m so thankful for His unconditional love. Thanks for including “Lay Down Your Life” – I love the lyrics of this song 🙂

    1. You’re welcome, Colleen. Glad you like it. I’d just heard it for the first time a few days before writing this.

Please share your thoughts!