Letting go is painful. But we have a choice.
Before the U.S. housing market crash, my husband became unemployed and could only find work in a state thousands of miles and three time zones away. A place called Arizona.
Accepting the job would force us to say goodbye to the life we knew and the dreams we’d had.
Did we want to do that? Or not?
We left saying see you later instead of goodbye to our family and friends knowing we’d be back to visit.
Years later we left Arizona with a similar see you later instead of goodbye because we were landlords. We had a house we tried to flip that landed upside down that tethered us. (More details available in my book)
Finally, the market turned so we could unload our rental property. We took our final business trip back to Arizona to cut the tether and say goodbye. Or so we thought.
What really tethers our hearts?
When we arrived at the Phoenix airport we were greeted with emotions we hadn’t planned on and a flood of memories. This place we were coming to say goodbye to grabbed ahold of our hearts and brought tears to my eyes as we walked through the airport.
We made plans to arrive early for our return flight to savor the time and validate what I deemed to be sentimental feelings.
However, things were different by the end of our trip.
Emotions and memories speak
On the plane, I watched the movie, Lion.
It’s an incredible story of a little boy named Saroo who got lost and separated from his family in India by things outside his control. Against the odds, he survives on the streets until he lands in an orphanage and gets adopted by a loving couple in Australia.
He adapts well but his heart yearns for the family he came from. His emotions and memories refused the goodbye forced upon him.
When I lived in Arizona I felt like I lived in a different country. I yearned for my family.
But now I’m back with them. So I didn’t understand our emotional response to arriving in Phoenix.Letting go is painful. Click To Tweet
Making time to say goodbye?
It had been a while since we visited so we made time to visit places and friends we’d known when we lived there. By cutting the financial tether we expected this was goodbye and wanted to savor the moments.
We started with plans for dinner at our favorite restaurant The Elephant Bar but it’s not there anymore. A goodbye we didn’t get to say.
However, our friends welcomed us into their home after dinner surprising us with a birthday cake to celebrate the three of us who share the same birth month.
The next night we enjoyed the super thin crust pizza of Oregano’s – something I’d thought I’d never like.
In Michigan, it’s mostly deep dish and when I first arrived in Arizona I was not interested in converting.
Yet here I was, making time to eat what I once refused while catching up with a friend who encouraged us to do the travel we talked about.
Why are we saying goodbye again?Some people come into our lives & touch our heart so deeply that we will never be the same again. ~ Unknown Click To Tweet
We drove past our old house near South Mountain and took the white knuckle drive up to the summit to eat lunch in the scorching August heat.
The rangers were there looking for the rattlesnake someone called to report.
I have no interest in rattlesnakes but I love the view from Dobbins Lookout.
After lunch, we descended to the valley and drove to Old Town Scottsdale for a final visit.
Walking about was taxing because August is not the best time to visit yet here we were enjoying it anyway.
Why are we braving this heat?
We were starting to wonder if we could say goodbye as we headed out to dinner with more friends we had shared many meals with before.
The following day we spent at the hotel giving ourselves the needed rest before our final day, and final goodbyes?
Do we want to say goodbye or not?What really tethers our hearts? Click To Tweet
A girlfriend and co-worker from my first job in Arizona came out to see me at Westgate.
We had bonded over moving pains and births of out of state grandbabies.
We had lunch at the Yard House at Westgate with more friends who had supplied the baby toys for our grandson when he came to visit us because we didn’t have any.
I still have those toys and my fourth grandchild plays with them.
We had our final visit with friends at a different Yard House sharing the miracle of their daughter Olivia and hopes for the future.
Some people come into our lives and touch our heart so deeply that we will never be the same again. ~ Unknown
There is no goodbye for what becomes a part of you
All these friends made time for us on a holiday weekend. Some wanted to but were not able.
(spoiler alert on the movie Lion)
When we first moved to Arizona there was a part inside of me like little Saroo in Lion that screamed to be rescued like he did when he was traumatically trapped on the train. Trauma is personal.
He had no idea it was taking him a lifetime away from all he knew and that he’d never be the same again.
I had no idea how life changing our move to Arizona and back to Michigan would be and that I’d never be the same again.
He had no idea the opportunity this tragedy would provide.
I had no idea I would not be able to say goodbye to something I once wanted to be rescued from ;
He had no idea his heart connection would find and restore his relationship with his original family without losing the new one he’d gained.
I had no idea the amazing relationships I would gain.The true tether is the heart connection. Click To Tweet
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same. ~ Flavia Weedn
Life sometimes forces goodbyes on us but other times we have a choice to say goodbye or not.
We went to Arizona this time and expected to say goodbye. We left embracing our heart connection and changed our goodbye into a see you later.There is no goodbye for what becomes a part of you. Click To Tweet
- What kind of goodbyes have you been through?
- How have your heart connections, emotions and memories helped or hurt you?
- For more of my story get a copy of my book and know you’re not alone ; your story isn’t over ;
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