Because You Matter: How to Take Ownership of Your Life So You Can Really Live will be available September 15^th, 2019. Last week I shared how the idea came to be, and the trouble I had with the creative process. I talked about how the process has parallels with pregnancy and birthing.

Do you know an Asian elephant is pregnant for 18 months? That’s how long it’s taken me to bring Because You Matter to completion.

Giving birth brings new life into the world. Because You Matter came to be for the purpose of bringing life to you.

Process is part of life, and things of value take time.

SHORT RECAP

The idea for Because You Matter was conceived in March 2018. It took a few months before I started to write some things out longhand. All I had were possible lessons, or titles, or chapters. I wasn’t sure what they were, and I knew I needed help.

That meant I had to share what I had with other people for feedback.

PREPARING AND SHARING

I started by taking the hand-scribbled lessons and transcribing them all on my laptop—exactly how I first wrote them. It was messy and random, but it was a starting place.

“Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere.”― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

This is what I shared with a few key people.

1. Writing your story can change your life – OWN YOUR STORY
2. Lies are truth to us when we believe them – OWN YOUR PERCEPTIONS
3. Small things are big when strategically placed (Trauma is personal / No malice ≠ No harm pg 150) – OWN YOUR TRAUMA
4. No Malice ≠ No Harm – OWN YOUR REALITY
5. Death devastates – OWN YOUR GRIEF
6. You matter – OWN YOUR SELF
7. Supernatural things happen – OWN THE MYSTERY
8. Poverty is escapable – OWN YOUR FINANCES
9. Religion destroys – OWN YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE
10. Childhood trauma can be healed – OWN YOUR HEALING
11. You can rise above condemnation & confusion – OWN YOUR MIND
12. What you do affects others – OWN YOUR LIFE & PURPOSE
13. You are loved – OWN YOUR VALUE
14. Life is erratic – OWN YOUR JOURNEY
15. You can overcome – OWN YOUR VICTORY
16. There is hope – OWN THE POSSIBILITIES
17. You can emerge, there’s more than now – OWN YOUR GROWTH
18. Having needs is human – OWN YOUR NEEDS
19. Validation is the beginning of freedom – OWN THE TRUTH
20. Your faith is yours alone – OWN WHAT YOU BELIEVE
21. You can find answers if you want them – OWN YOUR QUESTIONS
22. You’ve been deemed worthy of love – OWN THE GRACE
23. You can begin again – OWN YOUR POWER
24. You can change the direction of your life – OWN YOUR INSTEAD AND HOW YOU SEE pg 188
25. You’re loved more than you can fathom – OWN THE POSSIBILITY
26. You’re an amazing creation destined for glory – OWN YOUR POSITION IN CHRIST
27. Your weakness need not defeat you – OWN THE BIGNESS OF GOD
28. Fear is defeatable – OWN THE LOVE OF GOD pg 124
29. Your feelings are valid – OWN YOUR FEELINGS
30. Music can carry healing & power – OWN SONGS OF DELIVERANCE
31. We are all different – OWN YOUR UNIQUENESS
32. New mindsets need to be built – OWN THE BUILDING PROCESS
33. Sharing is empowering – OWN YOUR VULNERABILITY
34. No one’s childhood is perfect – OWN YOUR DYSFUNCTION
35. Your perspective is skewed – OWN A LARGER VIEW
36. You cannot control others – OWN YOUR RESPONSE pg 145
37. Question are how we learn – OWN YOUR CURIOSITY
38. Needs can only be met when expressed – OWN YOUR VOICE
39. We can’t have what was never there– OWN YOUR LOSS pg 149 & 150
40. You’re a complex human with an incomplete story – OWN YOUR PUZZLE PIECES
41. You deserve to be celebrated – OWN GOD’S CELEBRATION
42. New thinking creates new life – OWN THE NEWNESS
43. You will become how you see yourself – OWN HOW YOU SEE pg 188
44. Knowing you’re loved by God unconditionally is the most important thing – OWN YOUR BELOVEDNESS
45. Loneliness has a cure – OWN YOUR COMFORT
46. There’s always more to learn – OWN YOUR TEACHABLENESS
47. You’re created & invited to know God – OWN YOUR WINGS & EXPLORE
48. Trauma is Personal – OWN YOUR VALIDATION
49. Mistakes are part of life – OWN YOUR HUMANITY

A lot has changed since I made this list.

PHASE TWO

Time to make sense of it all. Taking the constructive criticism I’d been given, I combined things that were similar and changed the wording on other things. I grouped the “titles” together in a way that made sense, created possible chapter titles, then printed out all the “lessons”.

Laying the printed papers out across my office floor I began plotting what might go where and got a bigger picture.

Still after this so much changed. I didn’t have enough information.

Research.

Research.

Research.

I set the writing goals of 55,555 word count and a finish deadline of January 31^st, 2019. Then I started to write and weave together all the information I had.

My goals were lofty, and I only met one of them.

FIRST DRAFT

I completed my first draft of Because You Matter on January 26^th, 2019. It was an epic day but far from the finish line. My word count was only 34,987 but I comforted myself with this being the just first draft.

I paused to celebrate.

“Never get too attached to the first draft of anything – this includes writing, art, homes, love. You will revise and revise and revise. We are always in the midst of our own becoming.” ― Jeanette LeBlanc

EDIT AND SECOND DRAFT

THIRD DRAFT

“Your first draft is a petulant teenager, sure it knows best, adamant that its Mother is wrong. Your third draft has emerged from puberty, realising that its Mother was right about everything.” ― Angeline Trevena

FOURTH DRAFT

FIFTH DRAFT

With this draft, I’m suffering from the delusion I have Because You Matter basically completed. Have you ever heard of Braxton Hicks or false contractions? That’s what I had going on int the birthing of this book.

I enlisted the help of a small group of what are called Beta Readers – people willing to read the entire manuscript and give honest feedback.

There was a lot of good feedback, but it was also clear the book was incomplete. It didn’t have enough stories and came across with a tone I did not want.

As they say – Back to the drawing board.

SIXTH DRAFT

SEVENTH DRAFT

This draft got sent out for an edit review and once again I found myself suffering Braxton Hicks. This draft had a word count 51,184 and the editor told me I could easily remove 10k words due to word repetition and “fluff” words.

I was discouraged, to say the least, and sought counsel from a few fellow writers. They encouraged me as I knew they would. Writing can feel like a solitary thing so being part of a writer community is essential.

I got back to work.

THE IDEA THAT CHANGED THE BOOK

I had rewritten and changed many things in the manuscript when the idea of including the stories of others was brought to my attention. I thought it was a brilliant idea and started to investigate how I could do it.

In the meantime, I sent the eighth draft out for professional editing.

Next week I’ll wrap it up with what stories and preparing for publishing.

WHAT NOW

• Don’t miss next week: subscribe to get it in your inbox HERE
• Want to know something about my process? Ask a question in the comments.
• Get a sample of Because You Matter before it’s released HERE
• Get a copy of Emerging With Wings HERE

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Danielle Bernock

Author, Coach, and Speaker helping men, women, and organizations EMERGE with clear vision of their value, TAKE ownership of their choices, and CHART a path to their promise, becoming Victorious Souls who Embrace The Change from survive to thrive through the power of the love of God

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