~ A guest post by Anne Peterson ~

We wake up each day, exhausted. Things we normally enjoy don’t give us pleasure. What’s going on? We’re grieving. But this grief is different than other times we have grieved. This is compounded grief. And we’re not the only ones grieving.

Everyone right now is grieving at the same time. There is not one person I know right now who is not struggling in this pandemic, in at least one area.

And not knowing how long this will last accentuates our grief. The virus is not dead.

Some are grieving a lost loved one

I know what it’s like to lose a loved one.

I lost my mother when I was sixteen. Eight years later we lost our dad. Six years later, our sister disappeared and was the victim of domestic violence. She was killed because she tried to get out of their marriage. We never recovered her body. I have had two miscarriages. I’ve lost one brother in 2011, and our youngest brother in 2013. Then in 2016, we lost our baby granddaughter. I know what it’s like to lose loved ones.

But, I did get to be with a few of my loved ones when they died.

Those who have lost loved ones at this time in history, do not get that opportunity. Some of them don’t get to say goodbye or hold their hands. It feels so incomplete. Not having our sister’s body to bury feels that way.

But today, people are grieving more than just loved ones.

Some are grieving their lost jobs

I’m very fortunate. I’m a writer, I work from home. But many who work outside the home have lost their jobs. The unemployment rate has skyrocketed.

People don’t know how they’re going to make their rent, or mortgages. Instead of long lines at the grocery store, long lines of cars are seen at food pantries.

So many who had small businesses have seen them die, right along with many of their dreams.

With so many unknowns about the pandemic, we don’t know how to plan for the future.

Depression is up as people search frantically for answers, but come up empty. Only God knows our future.

We’re grieving the loss of touch

When I was a returning student, in one Psychology class, we learned the importance of physical touch.

They studied two groups of monkeys.

• Group A monkeys were given their basic needs, except they were not touched whatsoever.
• Group B monkeys also had their needs met, but they were touched often.

The results to this experiment were astounding. The monkeys in Group A, all died without physical touch.

God made us to touch others in caring, gentle ways. It’s one of our basic needs.

One of the saddest parts of this pandemic is the isolation people feel.

Before I got together with my grandchildren, my arms ached to hold them. And yet, that first visit felt awkward, because of all we had been through. We still had the virus among us. Our lives were changed.

Everyone’s lives are changed.

Some struggle with change

There are people in this world who are comfortable with routine. It gives them a sense of calm. Others might find that boring, but to them it’s not.

People who struggle with change are having a terrible time right now. They long for things to go back to how they were. Adapting is excruciating to them. If they are part of a group that no longer meets, it is difficult, especially not knowing how long this will all last.

The first Dr. Appointment I recently had felt strange to me.

In the vestibule, a nurse sitting at a table, took my temperature. There were containers of hand sanitizer everywhere. When I went through the doors to the admitting desk, I saw only partial faces. Eyes, but no smiles. I searched for laugh lines, looking for warmth. I realized if I were warm, others were more likely to reciprocate. Instead of opportunities for small talk in the waiting room, little signs on chairs made certain we would social distance ourselves.

It was for our own good, but it still felt strange.

All change isn’t bad

 Yesterday, for the first time in 7 months, I went inside a couple of stores. I hoped to feel some normalcy. But I felt a sadness as I looked around. The store looked as I remembered, with some definite changes. Signs on the floor showed what the direction was for each aisle. Everyone wore masks. When I got to the register, a large plexiglass partition stood between the cashier and us.

No matter where we go these days, we are always reminded things are different now. We can’t go anywhere without reminders the virus is among us.

This pandemic is making us more aware of what our priorities are what we really deem as important. Thomas Haynes Bayly popularized the saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I know that being away from my grandchildren made me miss them so much. And we live only 15 minutes apart, with this pandemic it feel like hundreds of miles. Maybe one way people get through this is the other saying by John Haywood, “Out of sight, out of mind.” But that’s not true for me.

Not being able to see my granddaughter prompted me to think of another way to communicate when we could not have our weekly Grandma days. So Ruthie and I wrote to each other. I sent her stories, and fill-in-the-blank letters, or a coded letter. At only seven years old, Ruthie did well answering my letters and warmed my heart with each one.

Our priorities help us innovate when change is unavoidable.

How DO we get through this?

There’s only one way to get through what we’re all going through. And that’s to look to the Lord. God is never surprised by the circumstances in our lives. He knows the answers to any questions we have right now. And no matter what our needs are, God is sufficient for those needs.

• If we need comfort, God is the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:4).
• If we’ve lost our jobs and have needs, God will meet our needs. (Philippians 4:19).
• If we feel alone, God is with us (Hebrews 13:5).
• If we miss physical touch, Jesus understands touch (Luke 18:15).
• If we miss being held, read how Moses described God to the Israelites (Deuteronomy 1:31).
• If we question if Jesus understands grief, He’s is the man of sorrows, well acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3).
• If we need grace, God invites us to His throne room (Hebrews 4:16).
• If grieving seems impossible, we can be thankful that impossible things are possible with God (Luke 18:27).

My prayer.

Father God, I lift up anyone reading this post who is struggling right now. You know their needs and you understand what all of us are going through. Lord, you did not leave us alone, but you are here with us. Thank you Lord, for your great love. We pray in your timing, this pandemic will end. Draw us close to you, Lord. We pray this in Jesus’ precious name. Amen

What now:

• Can you relate to Anne? Let her know in the comments.
• Know someone this would help? Please share.
• Grab a copy of one of her books (links in her bio)

Anne Peterson is a poet, speaker, published author of 16 books, including her latest book, Always There: Finding God’s Comfort Through Loss. Anne’s first memoir is: Broken:A story of Abuse, Survival and Hope. She has published children’s books and poetry books, such as Droplets: Poetry for Those in Grief, and He Whispers: Poetic talks with God. Anne is also a regular contributor to Crosswalk.com. Anne’s poetry has been sold in gift stores since 1996. To receive a free eBook, Sign up for Anne’s newsletter at www.annepeterson.com and click the tab. Or connect with her on Facebook.

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Danielle Bernock

Author, Coach, and Speaker helping men, women, and organizations EMERGE with clear vision of their value, TAKE ownership of their choices, and CHART a path to their promise, becoming Victorious Souls who Embrace The Change from survive to thrive through the power of the love of God

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