Who do they think they are? THEY will not win. Or will they?
Who are THEY?
THEY. THEM.
Exactly.
If THEY and THEM are your problem, that is the problem.
What the heck am I talking about? Taking back your power from THEM and THEY.
Let me tell you a story.
Last week I woke up at 1 am in excruciating pain.
I writhed. I moaned. My back hurt. My belly hurt. No position was comfortable. I got up and walked around. I prayed. I laid down. I writhed. I moaned…until it was time to get up.
I took a pain med. Not much help.
Childhood trauma memories swirl in my head.
How as a teen I repeatedly had incapacitating pain in my belly and my mom would take me to the Emergency Room at the hospital.
Every time I was shamed by THEM.
THEY would tell me it was just gas or all in my head.
I wanted to avoid THEM so I took two GasX. No help.
Wanting to avoid the ER where THEY might be, I set up a telehealth call with urgent care. No video. The doctor asks can I come in. She doesn’t sound like THEM so I go.
Doc sends me to the ER.
Dropped off alone by my husband due to covid-19 protocols I feel the fear. A little fear due to the pandemic, but the bigger fear was due to THEM.
Am I going to encounter THEM again? Will I be dismissed and shamed by THEM?
Even though my pain is an 8-10 I turn down the narcotic the doctor offers me. I need a clear head to be my own patient advocate. I’m given an anti-inflammatory in the IV.
Hours and tests later I get a “maybe” diagnosis. I’m sent home with a prescription I don’t want but I sleep through the night due to the IV med.
Are THEY right or not?
In the morning I awake with pain that worsens as the day goes on. That med I don’t want only makes me fuzzy. All day long I have constant level 8 pain with surging waves that incapacitate me. Doubling the ibuprofen to 800mg brings it down only slightly. I contact my PC and she tells me to alternate with acetaminophen. I hesitate to stop the ibuprofen. I get restless broken sleep. I try her idea but the pain worsens. I contact her again and she says go to the ER so I do.
THEY are too busy to tend to me. I’m invisible to THEM.
I leave and go to urgent care instead where I receive compassion, and a prescription for the IV med that gave me a measure of relief. I sleep all night.
In the morning I awake to a new symptom that seems contrary to the “maybe” diagnosis THEY gave me. I call the doctor THEY told me to call and am told to go to the ER. Hesitantly I go.
THEY are dismissive.
THEY repeat the same tests as three days prior and reluctantly add a new one. THEY give me a new “maybe” diagnosis that is nothing like the first one three days ago. THEY condescendingly make excuses. Confused and angry I’m sent home with no answers but still in pain.
That old childhood trauma seeks to plant new roots in me but I resist.
- “THEY don’t care” wants me to believe I don’t matter – Lie!
- “THEY are dismissive” wants me to believe I’m making it up – Lie!
- “THEY don’t know what’s wrong” wants me to believe I have to live in pain forever – Lie!
As my husband pulls into our driveway a sentence from the movie Undercover Blues plays in my head: “I’m getting seriously pissed”. Somehow I know it’s the key to my breakthrough.
I have a right to be angry – but what am I going to do with it?
I went to God and he led me through.
That old childhood trauma was healed and has no place in me. My battle is not with flesh and blood but against spiritual forces that have just thrown “the kitchen sink” at me.
THEY and THEM don’t have the power of my life unless I allow it.
Nope. It’s my life and I’m taking ownership of it – taking back my power.
No matter if I have to go through, around, over or under, I’ll get to the other side of this battle by the grace and power of God. THEY and THEM can’t stop me.
When THEY and THEM are your problem you are powerless.
Why?
Because you have no control over other people no matter what name THEY go by. Whether it’s an individual, group or system.
When you live under the power of THEY and THEM you become a victim. You are a prisoner.
That’s an awful way to live.
I’ve done it. Been there, don’t that, got the trophy. I know it’s supposed to be t-shirt but I’ve done it so much I upped it.
If you’re living like this my heart goes out to you. Feeling trapped and powerless sux.
But I have good news.
In addition to validation of your pain, I have hope and power for you.
You can break free from THEY and THEM. You can escape the bondage THEY entice you to live in.
Here’s the dynamite to blow open the prison door for you to emerge free – your choice.
I know it sounds weak and maybe lame or even cliché-ish.
But once you SEE what darkness has hidden, it will EXPOSE your power. LOVE will show you how to live FREE.
How you choose to respond to anything in your life is a power no one can take from you.
It can be hidden but not taken.
I’m here to turn the light on. I call it our superpower.
THEY and THEM may be a part of your story, your circumstance, but you can choose how to respond.
The easy and intoxicatingly tempting way is to just feel, to let emotions take over. But emotions alone become another THEY and THEM that imprison.
Again – I’ve been there, done that, got the trophy.
That doesn’t mean emotions are bad or to reject our feelings.
Instead, listen to what your emotions are telling you, and. That last word is imperative.
And.
Emotions alone are insufficient.
Listen to AND process emotions like this:
- Feel your emotions – sit in the feeling instead of running away, dismissing, or disassociating because it’s uncomfortable
- Analyze your emotions – why do you feel what you feel, what’s beneath the surface
- Pray – take your emotions to God who is love, and is the source of all wisdom, and let him show you how to proceed
All of this is yours to do.
It won’t happen on it’s own – you have to take it.
It’s your choice.
You get one life and you can take ownership of it – or – allow THEY and THEM to.
Someone will own your life. You get to choose who.
And if you’re a Christian who’s response is – God owns it – pause. Evaluate that.
God gave you your life to live, not to defer to someone else. Are you deferring to God what you ought to be doing?
Imagine if you get in your car and just sit there. Where will you go? Nowhere. It requires you to start the car and drive. You must participate.
Being a Christian requires participation. It’s not a spectator sport.
To thrive in life requires participation.
When you or I allow THEY and THEM to run our lives we are spectators.
I know THEY and THEM can be big and intimidating.
Goliath was big and intimidating to David. But David didn’t expect God to kill Goliath for him – he went out with God and David killed Goliath. David defeated his THEM and THEY and owned his God given greatness.
YOU can own YOUR God given greatness!
- Do you have a THEM or THEY running your life right now?
- You can retake ownership with your superpower.
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Great post, Danielle, thank you for this. I know this post will help a lot of people!
Thank you, Dave! I appreciate you sharing with me.
Hi Danielle/ this post was excellent and well timed. Thanks! Your thoughts on how to process emotions were invaluable. Very grateful you faced your old nemesis (them and they) and shared how to make successful progress in the confrontation.
Celebrating that part of your story with you…. hope you are on your way to feeling better!
Thank you, Roz! That’s so great to hear that the timing was good for you. I love when that happens. And to hear that you find the process useful is wonderful. It so easy to forget to respond and react instead. But every time we do, we get better and stronger.
Thanks for celebrating with me too.
Beautifully written. Finally had time to read this. Keep it going Danielle, you are making a difference in peoples lives! God has set you on a mission and you are living it. Praying you are feeling better with a true diagnosis soon.
Thank you so much. God Bless you.