Nothing compares to the feeling of being loved well. Loving well, and being loved well, not only feels good it also empowers us. Loving well is a key component in strong relationships.
This is the kind of love it takes to thrive in life.
But loving well doesn’t happen by accident.
Loving others can be hard. Not everyone is easy to love, and all of us are hard to love at times. Humans are messy people with messy lives. Loving well is an elegant art that takes certain things to be beautiful.
It takes learning what says I love you to others and genuine wholeheartedness to love well.
Loving well is an elegant art that takes certain things to be beautiful. Click To TweetWHAT IS LOVING WELL
There is loving and there is loving well. Loving is what comes from one person and given to another. Loving well involves more than just that one person.
Loving well is a lifegiving exchange. It happens when both the giver and receiver of love feel their worth.
- It’s when the giving and the receiving of love creates a circle the binds them together.
- It’s when you’ve satisfied the deep need for love in the one you’ve aimed to love. They feel seen, known and loved.
- It’s the satisfaction you feel in your soul for having satisfied someone else’s need.
Loving well is the highest exchange of love.
Loving well is the highest exchange of love. Click To TweetWHY WE STRUGGLE
We all want to receive love but giving it can be more challenging.
The Bible gives a list of qualities of what love looks like.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV
Being on the receiving end of those qualities is wonderful. We want people to be patient with us and kind, to not judge us or keep score.
But displaying those same qualities to others is a different story because we’re born self-centered. That’s not a put-down. It’s normal.
When we’re babies, we’re dependent on others to care for us.
The problem comes in when we don’t grow out of that self-centeredness.
Developing the qualities of love so we can display them takes choice, determination and intention. We must learn to consider others as much as ourselves.
There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like. In business, people negotiate to win. They negotiate to get what they want. Maybe you’re too used to that. Love is different. Love is when you are as concerned about someone else’s situation as you are about your own.― Morrie Schwartz
Loving well takes learning what says ‘I love you’ to others.
Loving well takes learning what says 'I love you' to others. Click To TweetWHAT SAYS I LOVE YOU
People do crazy things in the name of love. Sometimes it’s received well and other times it isn’t. Why is that? People can tell if it’s genuine.
I love the movie Hitch. It’s about finding genuine love.
Even when various characters fail or fall short in their demonstration of love, the genuineness of the effort shines through.
When Hitch gets “caught” as the date doctor they accuse him of lies and manipulation.
They’re wrong. His heart is genuine.
What he does is find the place where genuine love can flourish, and the heart can hear the real I love you.
Loving well is being genuine.
Loving well is being genuine. Click To TweetGENUINE LOVE
Genuine love requires humility, courage, and sometimes sacrifice. Finding creative ways to show genuine love is fun.
Bob Goff demonstrates love in a variety of creative ways in his book Everybody Always.
His story about his neighbor Carol brought me to tears as he repeatedly loved her well.
Just one of the creative things he did for Carol was after he learned she was diagnosed with cancer. She was scared. He ran out to the store and bought a set of walkie-talkies. One for her and one for himself.
My guess is he wanted her to feel safe and not alone.
In this book he talks about becoming love. I want to do that.
It starts with a choice. A decision in the heart. But loving well isn’t fulfilling an obligation. Obligation is something that binds someone, like duty or law.
Love that is forced is no love at all. ― Wm. Paul Young, The Shack
Loving well can’t be manufactured or faked. Loving well won’t identify a love language and mark it off a to-do list like in this funny video.
Loving well takes genuine wholeheartedness.
Loving well takes genuine wholeheartedness. Click To TweetWHAT NEXT
Share a time you felt loved well in the comments.
To become love we need to know love. May I send you either or both of these?
If you don’t know about love languages read this. Then print out Love Language Test* and ANSWER SHEET (no email required)
Books to help you love well.
*Source of test https://s3.amazonaws.com/moody-profiles/uploads/profile/attachment/5/5LLPersonalProfile_COUPLES__1_.pdf
and for singles: https://s3.amazonaws.com/moody-profiles/uploads/profile/attachment/1/5LLPersonalProfile_SINGLES__1_.pdf
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GENUINE love. Big one! And it does start with a choice. Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you for reading and commenting, Kris.
You make such a great point when you say that all of us want to be loved well, but we’re not always willing to do the same. Whenever I find myself wishing for this type of love, I really have to look within myself and ask if I am loving unconditionally, without judgment, because it is a two-way street. And I’ve always loved that quote from Corinthians!
Thank you, Kate.
I know we’ll all have times when we need people to love us when we aren’t able to reciprocate. I appreciate that when I’m a beneficiary of it. But loving well is how I’m aiming to live. We’re all a work in progress.
thanks for sharing.
Such a meaningful post Danielle! Real genuine love is demonstrative. Being told you are loved is wonderful but being shown in action genuine love is special! So true about loving well! I remember the unconditional… genuine special love I was given by many people in my darkest of life’s seasons. I think of my aunt who not only introduced me to God’s perfect love but she showed me genuine love all through my life. Today I’m thankful for her influence in how she demonstrated love to not only me but everyone she met. There is healing power in real love!
Thank you, Cori.
Happy dancing with you for your aunt and the village that surrounded you when you needed them. When we’ve been surrounded well, it plants in us the desire to surround others and love them well. I see that in you, Cori.
Thank you for sharing.