Something happened, and I was reminded how powerful a smile is. Both my smile and yours.
I had a milestone birthday and received a book.
In it, family and friends share how I have impacted their lives.
This book delivered a huge smile to my face and my heart.
Many people talked about my smile.
I was a little surprised and then I wasn’t.
My smile has always been my favorite feature.
I just wasn’t aware of how powerfully it had impacted others. This was my reminder.
Your smile is powerful.
Your smile is powerful. Click To Tweet
YOUR FACE IS TALKING
Everyone’s facial features are different. My mother had a natural frown. When her face was relaxed it looked like she was mad when she wasn’t.
My mother had a beautiful smile, but she didn’t always use it.
Her face often told me she was mad at me when she wasn’t. She just wasn’t smiling. This affected our relationship until we addressed it. Learning it was just her natural expression helped me. Still, I loved it when she smiled. I wanted her to smile more often.
Her smile said good things to me.
Things like: I love you, you’re ok, you matter to me.
Seeing someone smile at you is like receiving an emotional hug.
Seeing someone smile at you is like receiving an emotional hug. Click To Tweet
YOUR SMILE HUGS YOU
To my dismay, I discovered I have this same natural frown. I set out to smile more often. I had to become intentional.
This wasn’t always easy. In the beginning, I was still struggling with the side effects of childhood trauma. I had a lot of pain inside. It often showed on my face.
But through my healing process, I learned something about smiling. When I smiled, not only did it have the power to affect others, it had the power to affect me! This was an important thing for me to learn.
I noticed that when I smiled (a real smile) I felt different inside. I didn’t understand but I liked it.
It was like I was hugging myself.
Smiling stimulates our brains reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate, a well regarded pleasure-inducer, cannot match. – Leo Wildrich
At the beginning of my healing process that was hard because I shied away from being too nice to myself. (Why that is, is a long story in my book Emerging With Wings.)
Through my process I learned important truths: I matter, being kind to myself is not bad or a sin, and proper self-care is necessary.
Now I smile a lot and enjoy how it feels inside.
Your smile will make you feel good inside.
Your smile will make you feel good inside. Click To Tweet
GRACE FOR THE FROWN
I wanted to make others feel good inside so during my process I went around intentionally smiling at others. It didn’t always work. Sometimes they’d frown or scowl. It was painful. Sometimes they took my smile away.
I learned that’s a thing called mirroring. It’s the subconscious seeking to imitate the expression of others. It was working against me and I wanted to get it working for me.
By the grace of God, I started owning my smile and not allowing anyone to take it away.
Not everyone I smile at smiles back. But now I keep my smile and then pray for the frowners.
Maybe they’re having a super bad day.
Maybe they just got yelled at.
Maybe they don’t feel well.
Maybe, someone, they love died.
Frowners need grace and your smile can give it to them.
Frowners need grace and your smile can give it to them. Click To Tweet
GRACE IS THE MOST POWERFUL SMILE
When the smile on my face isn’t powerful enough to help someone, I tap into my inner smile. Grace.
Grace is the smile of God in our lives and it’s powerful.
We can pray and call for His grace for people. Ask Him to help them however they need help. He knows what they really need and loves them.
I believe there musta been people praying for me like that back when I was a frowner and stuck in my emotional pain. By all rights, I shouldn’t be alive due to some of the stupid things I’ve done. But God smiled at me. Grace!
Your inner smile has the power to give someone the most powerful smile – the Grace of the Living God.
Your inner smile has the power to give someone the most powerful smile - the Grace of the Living God. Click To Tweet
LET YOUR POWER SHINE
Everyone can smile. Everyone has a beautiful smile because smiling is beautiful and powerful.
It doesn’t matter how old or young you are or how many teeth you do or don’t have.
It doesn’t matter what color you are, if you’re fat or skinny, or if you have freckles or blemishes on your face.
Even if you’re going through something hard, let your smile hug you.
Your smile shines powerfully so let it.
Your smile shines powerfully so let it. Click To Tweet
WHAT NOW
- Did this article make you smile? Let me know in the comments.
- Are you going through something hard and want prayer? Please comment here or email me.
If you’re like me and have a natural frown, or just need a reminder to smile – here’s a little song I made up to help. Sing it now.
If you’re happy and you know it – tell your face. (smile)
If you’re happy and you know it – tell your face. (smile)
If you’re happy and you know it, make your face to surely show it.
If you’re happy and you know it – tell your face. (smile)
If you’re not familiar with the tune here’s a video for you.
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Another great post! I like the idea that my smile can help ME! I never thought about it that way. ThanksDanielle!
It’s awesome that I helped you see it a new way.
Thanks for sharing, Michael.
Awesome encouragement for this former natural frowner I now practice intentionally “smiling”. My grandson, 11, sees me frowning sometimes and does a silly dance that he does only for his Nana cuz he loves to see her happy.
Thank you, Roz. I’m so happy it encouraged you so much.
That’s awesome that you practice intentionally smiling like I do. So cool.
And your grandson? That is so precious as well as validating. We love to see the ones we love smiling and happy. Thank you for sharing!
As a kid I smiled a lot — not necessarily because I was happy, but because that was my default expression when I was feeling nervous. Other kids picked up on this and started mentioning it, which made me embarrassed. So I would try my hardest to maintain a “stoic” expression, even when I was feeling happy or excited. It was only as an adult, when I felt more confident in myself and was surrounded by people who appreciated me for who I was, that I began to feel comfortable smiling to express genuine warmth and happiness. And you are absolutely right that the act of smiling is like an embrace! It makes both me happier and those around me as well.
Wow, Kate. I’m so sorry to hear how the kids picked on you. Kids can be so mean and things that happen in our childhood leave marks whether we like it or not.
That’s one thing I learned from my counselor, as well as research while writing my first book Emerging With Wings. Children don’t choose what wounds their soul. They’re still growing and learning how to process the world around them.
I’m so happy you’ve gotten your smile back and feel the hugs. Thanks for sharing your story!