If there was ever a year for small wins to be a big deal, it’s in 2020.

~ Crystal Jackson shares validation and encouragement for “counting all your tiny successes”  ~

If ever there was a year that we all deserved a participation trophy, this is it. Regardless of where you stand on the debate about the existence of participation trophies, I think we can all agree that this year requires it. Not all of us have been the most stellar example of humanity. Most of us have been doing the best we can with overwhelming challenges and dwindling energetic resources. In lieu of gold stars and stickers, we may need to count our tiny wins and call it a day.

• If you got out of bed this morning, it’s a win.
• If you didn’t get out of bed this morning but you got the extra rest you needed, it’s a win.
• If you worked in fitness today, you’re a success!
• Did you eat a vegetable? Kudos to you!
• Did you get a little time in nature? You’re winning at life.

Do these things seem insignificant to you? They’re certainly easy to take for granted. Consider it, instead, to be a gratitude practice — an acknowledgement that in difficult times, the smallest things can take enormous effort, requiring many of our spoons.

• If you were able to focus on a task to finish it, that’s a win.
• If you practiced self-care today, you’re doing great!
• If you met a goal you set for yourself, you’re amazing!
• If you adjusted a goal to make allowances for the year, you’re still succeeding.
• If you had a healthy cry, it’s still a win.

Redefining success in an unprecedented year means accepting the full range of human emotion and behavior. The standard isn’t — and never should have been — perfection. Instead, it’s about waking up every day and doing the best we can — only our best is a fluid measure depending on how we feel each day. Normalizing a wide variety of experiences isn’t just inclusive for the neurodiverse, it also helps us maintain healthy self-esteem as well as empathy for others.

• If you told someone you loved them today, call it a win.
• If you made someone smile, you’re succeeding.
• If you admitted you were wrong, you’re ahead of the curve.
• If you reached out to someone who was struggling, you’re doing humanity right.
• If you failed at something but learned from it, you didn’t fail at all.

In a society that likes to declare winners and losers, it can be easy to compare ourselves to others and always feel like we’re coming up short. It’s all too simple when social media account after social media account shows us filtered lives that may not reflect well against our own. It’s a good thing that our lives aren’t actually reality show competitions — but actual reality where there is no finish line. Unless we see death as a finish line, and I don’t see anyone racing to get there before everyone else.

• If you asked for help, call it a win.
• If you made a meal, you’re doing great.
• If you stood up for someone who couldn’t stand up for themselves, I’m proud of you.
• If you found something beautiful in this world, you’re on the right track.
• If you made the world a little better just for being in it (and you did), you’ve got another win to add to your count.

I haven’t been blissfully baking bread while engaging my children in complicated STEM activities. I haven’t been learning three new languages while training for a triathlon. Like many of you, I’ve been taking each day at a time and trying to do my best.

I think we deserve that gold star, that Nice Work sticker, that shiny participation trophy that says that we made it through another day. This isn’t the year of the noteworthy gains and impressive achievements. This is the year when just handling the daily news is an achievement all its own.

Considering the small wins and taking them is a beautiful gratitude practice. It acknowledges our shared humanity. It normalizes differing abilities. It practices acceptance for shortcomings and makes space for self-care. If you don’t want your participation trophy, don’t take it.

But if you do, know that whatever you’ve managed to get done today has been something to be grateful for and a small win that still counts.

© 2020 Crystal Jackson reposted with permission. The original post is found here.

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Crystal Jackson is a former therapist turned author. She is the author of the Heart of Madison series and a poetry book entitled My Words Are Whiskey. Her work has been featured on Medium, Elephant Journal, Elite Daily, and The Good Men Project. When she’s not writing for Medium and working on her next book, you can find Crystal traveling, paddle boarding, running, cycling, throwing axes badly but with terrifying enthusiasm, hiking, doing yoga, or curled up with her nose in a book in Madison, Georgia where she lives with her two wild and wonderful children.

Check out Crystal’s books on Amazon here and follow her writing on Facebook here.

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Danielle Bernock

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