Emotional turmoil happens to everyone. Raging emotions are screaming for help because they need something. Finding what they need is how we find out how to cope.
Lots of things cause our emotions to spiral like an internal tornado. Sometimes those reasons are large but other times we have a pile of smaller issues.
Either way, how we respond will affect how well we cope.
For example, turmoil happened to me while I was writing an article on how to not be a bully to yourself. I’d overcome so much I had to share so others could find the freedom I enjoy. The turmoil began after many things happened to create a pile of conflicting emotions. But what really sent me spiraling was the realization I’d become guilty of bullying myself. The bully I used to deal with all the time taunted me with how I was such a hypocrite.
In the midst of this emotional tornado, I remembered coping skills I used in the past.
I applied them and they changed everything.
How we respond will affect how well we cope. Click To Tweet
FIRST THINGS FIRST
The first thing I needed to do was own my emotions.
Our emotions are ours alone. No one can cope for someone else. If we want to be emotionally healthy then we have to be the one to do something.
If we choose to do nothing they won’t go away. They simply go underground.
Underground emotional turmoil has side effects. For example, sleep problems, eating disorders, emotional eating, relationship problems, fatigue, volatility in moods and even various illnesses (headache, digestive problems, hives, muscle aches etc).
It’s a better choice to own, embrace and listen to them.
If we want to be emotionally healthy then we have to be the one to do something. Click To Tweet
EMBRACE AND LISTEN
Our emotions are part of us. We need to love ourselves enough to listen to them. Rejecting them is rejecting ourselves. Embracing the truth of what’s going on inside of us will lead us to the answers we need to cope well.
Emotional turmoil requires action. Some form of expression is needed to process the emotion and restore peace. This is where coping skills come in.
The appropriate skill is found through asking yourself—What do I need right now?
Below are some skills to help you answer your question.
Emotional turmoil requires action. This is where coping skills come in. Click To Tweet
NEEDS and SKILLS
Need to let it out—how to get it out.
Emotions can make us feel like a pressure cooker. Anger, sorrow or frustration build up and the need may be to release some. Picture letting air out of a balloon.
You can do this through various physical activities like going for a walk, riding a bike, chopping wood, building something, screaming into a pillow, or having a therapeutic cry. (tears have chemistry)
Quieter or less physical ways are writing, talking to someone, or drawing.
Need it to be seen as real and valid—how to make it seen.
Emotional pain is as real as physical pain but because you can’t see it, it can feel invalid or unreal. Especially if you’ve been told you overreact or are too sensitive.
You can make your emotions seen through painting, drawing, or even scribbling with colors that match your feelings.
You could even put Band-Aids on your body to validate the pain.
Need to stop feeling out of control—how to feel empowered.
Overwhelming emotions make us feel powerless and out of control. That’s scary. When that happens you need to find something you can control.
You can make a list of activities you can easily complete, clean something, or rearrange a closet or the furniture in a room.
Another thing is doing something you enjoy and know you’re good at.
Need the pain to stop—how to find relief.
Sometimes emotional turmoil is just too much to bear and you need relief. Something to calm the pain and chaos.
Distraction and relaxation are good choices here.
Perhaps take a hot shower or a nap. You could watch a movie, breathe in soothing aromatherapy with essential oils or candles, or listen to music with headphones on.
Need to stop the numbness—how to snap out of the nothingness.
Sometimes emotional turmoil is so overwhelming a feeling of nothingness sets in. When necessary, the body shuts down the emotional pain receptors to protect itself.
This may be good for a short period but not for the long haul. Lack of emotion is a problem with a whole other set of side-effects.
A physical choice would be to snap a rubber band on your wrist or hold an ice cube.
You could also watch something really funny, super sad or opinionated to stir up an emotional response.
Need to punish self—how to process blame and shame.
Beating ourselves up in an attempt to feel better is not uncommon but it doesn’t work. It makes things worse. It’s the bully showing up.
Instead, own your emotions. If you need to accept responsibility for a mistake and make amends that’s one thing. Shaming yourself is quite another. Allow yourself your humanity. No one is perfect. Give yourself grace.
If you’ve done something wrong, forgive yourself. You could even write it out in letter form. Or write out what you wish you’d done to prepare for next time.
Also, speaking words of grace-filled affirmation to yourself out loud is helpful.
Some form of expression is needed to process the emotion and restore peace. Click To Tweet
WHAT NEXT
- Here are words of grace.
- Here are words to help you love yourself.
- Get this Free Printable of my poem The Power of Emotions
- If your emotions are more than you can handle and no coping seems possible please call someone for help — you’re worth it!
You Matter!
DARE to BELIEVE it!
Here is a free tool to help you understand your true worth.
You may unsubscribe at any time. We care about your Privacy
Good morning Danielle. Love reading what you write. I am one of your tribe. Keep it coming. 🙂 Very meaningful posts.
Good morning Karen! I’m so happy to hear it. You bless my heart.
Thank you for sharing!
Danielle,
Indeed—the devastating effects of negative self-talk.
Something we have to be sensitive for daily if we succumb to this. I often do. Not helpful!
Actionable advice! It requires steps to be taken. Action from of side, and chosing to do so.
Thank you, Danie!
I’m so glad you find it useful.
Thanks for sharing.
Hey Danielle! Love how you named the various needs and the suggestions! Helpful! Thank you!!
You’re welcome, Amy. I’m so happy you find it helpful.
I’ve learned we can’t do anything if we don’t know what the issue is. But once we see, or name it, then we can do something.
Thanks for sharing!
Your advice is very helpful and unique. I haven’t read anything quite like this. I especially like how you divided the emotional needs into different categories and gave practical advice for each.
Thank you, Kate.
I struggled for so long with not knowing what to do with my feelings or even being able to identify them, so being practical and helpful is important to me. Having strategies and learning coping skills has helped me a lot.
Thanks for sharing.
Owning your emotions is the step most folks skip Danielle but it is THE difference maker. Feeling what was really there – not burying or resisting it – made the huge shift happen in my life. I went from fear to love most of the time, and what a fun and freeing journey it has been since. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Ryan
I completely agree, Ryan. I celebrate your new found freedom with you. Reminds me of my book Emerging With Wings.
Sounds like you got your wings of freedom and joy.
Thank you for sharing with me.