Deeper Stronger is my theme for the year. A rock solid foundation goes deep, and is extremely strong. I want a deeper, stronger, victorious soul.
I didn’t always live a victorious life. My “victorious soul” had merely survived. Survival is good but thriving is better. In a letter to my younger self I told her how she gains victories.
Overcoming my childhood trauma was good, but life keeps dishing out difficulty. To continue to gain more victories I’m going deeper, and becoming stronger, in my soul. I’m doing it in 4 key areas.
Want this for your soul?
DEEPER STRONGER IN 4 KEY AREAS
The 4 key areas to build a deeper and stronger victorious soul are faith, family, friends, and freedom. These are the pillars of 4F Media. Think of these areas in life as the 4 legs on a chair. When one of them is shorter than another, the chair will rock. It won’t be stable.
I experienced this instability. My year got off to a “rocky” start. One of the legs on my “chair” was shorter. My friend leg.
I lost a dear friend and it rocked my soul. I’ve been going deeper and stronger in my friendships, rebuilding my friend leg. As I build I’m tasting the sweet fruit of greater stability. I still miss my friend, but I also feel the healing.
Being strong in the 4 key areas produces stability.
FAITH
Everyone believes something. Even those who claim they don’t. Faith is a part of life. Take the chair illustration for example. You have to exercise a certain amount of faith to sit in a chair. You have to believe that it’s strong enough to hold you up. My faith is rooted in Jesus. Over the years the details of what I believe have vastly changed.
Having suffered spiritual trauma, religious trauma, and church hurt, my faith journey has been quite messy. (yes, those are 3 different things) In my first book Emerging With Wings I share some of my journey of what is now called deconstruction. Some consider that term to be negative, maybe even toxic. I see where it has been, but it doesn’t have to be.
Faith is an ongoing journey. I believe it’s healthy to constantly evaluate what you believe, and why. It’s healthy to continue to learn and grow. We misunderstand things all the time.
No one is right about everything.
At the beginning of my journey I believed that the King James Version of the Bible was the only right one because that’s what I was taught. Now I know that’s not true. In fact, there are parts of it that are questionable. (gasp)
I love to read and compare the numerous translations with each other.
Think about it. The Bible was inspired by God but written down by men. That was in one language. Then it gets translated into other languages. It sounds a little like playing telephone. Remember that old kids game?
Does that make you think you can’t trust it? Then consider how the Bible has survived the numerous times humans have tried to destroy it. We don’t need to throw it out. We need to study it side by side with the one who authored it. The Holy Spirit. I prefer to call him the Spirit of Grace.
So where are you at in your faith journey? Do you want to become deeper and stronger in faith?
FAMILY
Family means different things to people. For some, the thought of family brings joy, but for others it brings pain, or stress. You can find a definition of what a family is supposed to be in the dictionary. But that’s not what we’re looking for. We want relationships, not a definition.
My family of origin was part of my trauma and also part of my healing. In that letter to my younger self I address the hurt and the healing.
I have an amazing family now. We have our issues because we’re human. There is no perfect family. But we can go deeper, and become stronger to build healthy families. The family you build doesn’t have to be related to you. It’s about relationships.
Good healthy deep strong relationships require good communication, and healthy boundaries. They need trust, forgiveness, grace, fun, and laughter. And the two things that make that all possible are massive amounts of love, and time spent together.
In our fast paced, busy world, time can slip through our fingers like running water, if we don’t pay attention. Time is non-refundable. All we have is right now, this moment. This isn’t to encourage impulsiveness, but intention. We can say our family is the most important thing, but do I lives reflect that?
No one lives forever here on planet earth. Things happen to remind us of that, like the death of a friend. I’ve witnessed the loss of multiple people, and know others who are fighting serious health battles. Time is precious.
How are the relationships in your family? Do you want to build deeper and stronger relationships in your family?
FRIENDS
The word friend covers a lot. That’s because friendships have varying levels. There are acquaintances, casual friends, co-workers or colleagues, friends of the family, neighbors, lifelong friends, best friends, traveling buddies, close friends, and more.
There was a time when I really struggled with the whole friendship thing. I had been burned. More than once. Confidentiality betrayed, abandoned during hard times, physically assaulted, rejected for unknown reasons, vanishing without explanation, and some died.
A broken, or lost friendship for any reason is painful. What can we do?
We can heal, and become deeper and stronger souls. We can make new friends because having friends is important. How do we do that? Early on I was told to simply be friendly. That didn’t work for me.
I’ve learned that friends share things. How deep the friendship depends on what is shared. Friends are made by choice. Healthy friendship is a state of mutual trust and support. It’s built with intention little by little, with love and time. Having all different kinds of friends is good.
Look at your friendships.
How many friends do you have and how close are you? Do you want to build deeper and stronger friendships?
FREEDOM
Freedom is more than something you have, or don’t have. It can be clear cut but more often it’s incremental. Especially when it applies to inner freedom. The freedom from past hurts and traumas. Freedom from lies and limiting beliefs. Freedom from fear and shame. Freedom to be who you are, your true self. These kinds of freedom begin, and then grow.
This understanding came after the freedom I had attained while writing my first book was tested.
At that time I had a fixed mindset when it came to my freedom, and I failed the test. This threw me into a tailspin until I gained a growth mindset. What I needed was to establish myself in the new freedoms I had attained. Much like my theme for this year of deeper stronger.
Being a victorious soul is a choice. It’s the attitude you adopt when you take ownership of your life.
We will encounter trouble in life. It is unavoidable. But how we respond is up to us.
As children we have no clue about this ability unless we are taught. I was not. Trauma taught me I had no power, or choices. I was stuck in reaction mode. But freedom is available, and that sense of powerlessness is a lie.
We have a thing called a circle of control. It is your right to take ownership of what is inside your circle of control. Our circle of control grows as we grow in freedom.
Where do you need freedom, or more freedom in your life? Do you want to gain deeper and stronger freedom?
WHAT NOW
Take action. Reading is good to bring awareness, but deeper and stronger will come through taking action. No one can do the work for you.
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