~ A guest post by Jackie Trottmann on getting free. ~
Flow is the opposite of being stuck. And stuck, unfortunately, is where we can find ourselves many times.
Stuck in the past. Stuck in our limiting beliefs. Stuck by not making any forward progress in our lives.
There’s an expression I use a lot: “I didn’t know what I didn’t know.”
To Get Unstuck You Need to Find the Hang-up Click To Tweet
We All Get Stuck
When I think of spiritual flow, I think of a river. I imagine flowing effortlessly through life like a river flowing downstream.
But just like a river has tributaries and debris like fallen trees and other objects that block its flow, we will veer off course or get hung up on something that is blocking the way.
Like Danielle, this blog’s author, I’m a writer.
But instead of feeling joy in writing, all I felt was pain. What “I didn’t know” was that my joy was being blocked by debris from the past.
Once this came to my awareness, I was able to break free and let my joy flow.
Imagine flowing effortlessly through life like a river flowing downstream Click To Tweet
To Get Unstuck You Need to Find the Hang-up
It wasn’t until I went back to an incident in my past that I realized where my joy and flow was being blocked.
Since I could hold a crayon, I wanted to be an artist. I even won the art competition in kindergarten for the best illustration of the school. The prize was that it was displayed on the school calendar for the entire year.
The house where I grew up was small. There were two bedrooms. My older brother got one of the bedrooms and my parents the other. We had couches in the living room that folded out as beds. That became my bedroom.
In addition to drawing, I loved books. My grandmother on my mother’s side still lived in England. She sent me a collection of children’s books that I treasured.
I had accumulated quite a collection of my own artwork and books. Since the living room was my room, my treasures collected on the living room coffee table.
One day, when I came home from school, I walked through the door to find the coffee table was clear. My father was in the living room and I asked him what happened to all of my artwork and books? He screamed, “I got tired of the clutter and threw it all out!”
In a complete burst of panic, I bolted out of the house to the trash cans. They were empty. The trash collectors had already come. All of my artwork and books from my grandmother were gone, poof, thrown in the trash. I think I was seven or eight years old.
There was no discussion about it like, “Honey, we need to figure out a place to put all of your things.” The message was loud and clear. My creativity was trash. In my mind, my father threw me in the trash.
My artist died that day.
My mother and father met in World War II. When I was around five years old, he became distant where he once called me “the apple of his eye.”
He worked at a local brewery where one of the perks was to have all the fresh beer you wanted to drink. He took full advantage of this perk and began stopping at a local tavern on the way home.
Several times he went into a detox facility to wean him off the alcohol. He was later diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.
In my teens I began to keep journals. We never talked about his violent outbursts, so my journal is where I wrote out all my feelings.
The mantra as a child of an alcoholic is: Don’t talk. Don’t trust. Don’t feel.
For decades I stuffed down my feelings.
As a result, I developed an eating disorder that lasted three decades.
When we tap into God as our Source, we can get unstuck from the obstacles in our way Click To Tweet
Where Was God?
Church played a big role in my life growing up. As I got older, it was a haven to escape my father’s presence.
But church gave little comfort in its presentation of God’s image. It was bad enough that I had an angry earthly father. The message from the pulpit was that I was a miserable sinner. God was not a loving heavenly Father but a judgmental and vengeful heavenly Father that was waiting to, as I like to say, “squish me like a bug if I stepped out of line.”
Rather than have Bible verses highlighted with love, compassion, and forgiveness, all the Bible verses I had highlighted were of laziness, gluttony, or a litany of many other shortcomings to confirm my unworthiness.
God wasn’t at the church I went to but He came and found me.
Life is lived in a spiritual flow of oneness with our Creator Click To Tweet
Connecting with God the Source of Flow
After leaving college I quit going to church. I turned away from God entirely until my son’s birth.
I began seeking the loving heavenly Father I knew had to exist.
I’d like to say that I found Him, but I know that He found me.
Just as Jesus talks about going after the one lost sheep out of the hundred, I was now found.
A river is the strongest at its source. When we tap into God as our Source, we can get unstuck from the obstacles in our way.
Life is lived in a spiritual flow of oneness with our Creator.
When we tap into God as our Source, we can get unstuck from the obstacles in our way Click To Tweet
From Unstuck to Living Life in Spiritual Flow
I never pursued art or writing except for my journals.
I didn’t realize how much of an impact that incident had on my artist’s psyche.
I have had to overcome the demons of not being good enough and allowing my father’s behavior to keep me from knowing in my heart that God has given me the gift to write and create.
Any father in their right mind would not throw their children in the trash. Because of his alcoholism and bi-polar disorder, my father was not in his right mind. I understand that now.
What I now know that “I didn’t know,” is that my writing was blocked because in my journals, all I wrote about was pain! Who wants to feel pain all the time?
Now that I’ve let go of the hurts, I am able to write with joy.
Losing this emotional and spiritual weight I carried, resulted in losing the physical weight I carried, too. I no longer have an eating disorder. My mind, body, and spirit are free.
This getting unstuck has resulted in two books. In my latest book, The Freedom to EAT, I illustrated the chapter headings, cartoons and my publishing company logo.
So, my childhood artist has been set free, too!
If you are stuck in an area of your life –
- Examine the source where you got stuck.
- Then trust The Source – God’s love and compassion will carry you along to go with the flow once more.
What now:
- Can you relate to Jackie? Let her know in the comments. Buy one of her books and/or meditations.
- Know someone this would help? Please share.
- If you don’t have it yet, get Love’s Manifesto here and know you deserve to be loved and cared for.
Jackie Trottmann writes at JoyAndFlow.com. She is the author of two books: God Notes – Daily Doses of Divine Encouragement and The Freedom to EAT – 10 Secrets for Lasting Weight Loss and Inner Peace along with three meditation CDs: Be Still, Let it Go, and Trust.
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I enjoyed reading this post Jackie! So true that to get unstuck we need to find the hang up. Trouble is I often struggle to find my hang up! Of course delaying my process of getting unstuck! I love where you say this:
“God’s love and compassion will carry you along to go with the flow once more.”
Thankful we have a God who loves us and carries us through whatever we face in our lives.
Hi Cori-Leigh,
Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughtful comment. Many times I find myself wishing that God would just hit me over the head with an enlightenment wand and I’d be done! It’s why I get a small thrill when the GPS voice on my phone tells me I’ve “arrived” when I successfully reach a destination. : ) But life is about growing, showing up and arriving with new insights. Unfortunately, the older I get, the more I need to unlearn a lot of what I’ve learned that is just not true!
Finding the source of your hang up is not a struggle when you spend moments in silence and stillness each day. We all have a still, small voice within us. It’s the voice of our true essence, our soul, our own GPS system that leads us and guides us when we listen and pay attention. We live in a world full of noise and distractions. Until we learn to be still, we can’t fully listen to that voice or God’s voice directing us. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”
If you find yourself getting angry or anxious or fearful, pay attention to that. Ask yourself why you are feeling that way. I am a journal advocate. Writing your feelings get them out on paper for you to see.
Here’s an example. My husband and I just moved to a new home in the middle of December. It was closing day. All my friends kept saying, “Aren’t you excited!??!” The home had been under construction since March. It is more than twice the size of our existing home. It’s all that I’ve ever dreamed of. Yet, the morning of the closing I was gripped with anxiety and fear. Gripped.
I pulled out my journal and began to write. Remember the story of my sleeping in the living room on a fold out sofa? All the fear came because those demons of not being good enough surfaced again. I had come from a very small space and was transitioning to a huge space. This was a BIG move. The house is not small and no longer am I – at least not small minded. I’m growing with the space. Now, I’m excited, not fearful. I could have just said, “Jackie, you’re crazy! Suck it up and get excited.” No, I had to get to the source of the anxiety. I don’t want to push a moment like that away.
Okay, I’ve written another blog post(!) I hope that helps you, Cori-Leigh, and others. When we surrender our hurts to God we can let go and go with the flow again. Surrendering is not giving up. It’s letting go of the struggle.
You are correct that you will delay an opportunity to become unstuck. If all else fails, use one of my favorite prayers, “God, help me to get out of my own way.”
Peace to you,
Jackie
I’m so glad I read this. Thank you so much. I love everything about this story and your reply to Cori-Leigh. I cried for the little girl who lost her artist. I’m 59 and just beginning to find my way back to my artist. I’ve tried many times throughout the years. I know that God made me an artist and a writer. I want to be consistent with that time of silence with God that you wrote about.
This: “Finding the source of your hang up is not a struggle when you spend moments in silence and stillness each day. We all have a still, small voice within us. It’s the voice of our true essence, our soul, our own GPS system that leads us and guides us when we listen and pay attention. We live in a world full of noise and distractions. Until we learn to be still, we can’t fully listen to that voice or God’s voice directing us. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”
Thank you again for writing this.
Hi Hanna,
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing. You made me tear up knowing you are wanting to find your way back to your artist!
Maybe this easy ritual will help you on being consistent with stillness. I have a very simple, consistent time of silence. It’s called coffee! I like to say that I have coffee with God each morning.
Morning is my magic writing inspiration time. I get up ideally at 5:30 or 6. The world is dark and still at this hour. I make my coffee and breakfast and I read something inspirational or journal. I talk to God through my journal. If I don’t talk to God, I am aware of God’s presence. This time of stillness sets the tone for my day. This is creative time for me. I don’t check email or any outside news or social media until 8:30 or later.
My husband was diagnosed with Parkinson’s five years ago. We have always wanted to travel, but our travel plans have become urgent because of his diagnosis. When we are away, I don’t have my quiet time. We’re always up and out the door on a tour or going to the next city. While it’s a blessing and exciting, I feel like my soul is depleted. That quiet time in the morning grounds me and connects me to the Source of inspiration and peace.
If you don’t drink coffee, have tea or a bagel or whatever your routine is. Hopefully, you have one(!) And just incorporate silence or stillness into that.
There will be days when it’s not possible. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Be gentle with yourself and make time for stillness when you can. Maybe you’re not a morning person. Maybe late in the evening when the day is done is a good time to start a ritual to review the day. It can be as simple as asking yourself three questions: What did I accomplish? (Not all the things you didn’t get done.) What am I grateful for? What did I enjoy today?
I hope these examples get you thinking of ways to step away from the noise of the world on a consistent basis.
I’m grateful that the words God put on my heart touched your heart too. Thanks for commenting.
Peace and blessings,
Jackie
Beautiful post! I love how you share your story, which must have been painful, but ultimately triumphant because you prevailed over your stuckness. Childhood events can certainly have a powerful hold over us. When I was in middle-school, I got teased a lot for essentially being myself, so by the time I reached high-school, I learned that the best coping mechanism was simply to make myself invisible. It is only through journaling, writing fiction, meditating, and dancing that I have learned to get in touch with my emotions and express myself.
Hi Kate,
Thank you! I’m so glad that you found so many ways to get in touch with your emotions instead of remaining invisible. The answers to peace, healing, and wholeness are truly within us.
I have to ask if you have published your fiction? I’m in the process of writing a fiction book for the first time. In the past, I never allowed my imagination to be free. I found myself being bogged down in facts. Fiction is make believe, after all! So, I’m giving myself permission to imagine.
That’s interesting that you mentioned becoming invisible. I just did a blog post on that very subject. You can check it out here if you like: https://www.jackietrottmann.com/everyone-wants-to-be-seen/
Thank you for commenting and for sharing your own story. I’m sure many will relate. The many examples of how you get in touch with your emotions and how you express yourself will inspire others too.
Blessings,
Jackie