Why go looking for hidden trauma in your life? Is it to create a problem? Or place blame on others for your lack of success or bad choices? No.
The reason to look for hidden trauma in your life, specifically what kind, is for the purpose of healing. You can’t heal what you can’t see.
Hidden trauma is invisible but it’s side-effects aren’t. These are the things that help you to identify the hidden trauma so you address it and resolve it.
No matter the kind of hidden trauma you have, there’s hope and healing.
No matter the kind of hidden trauma you have, there’s hope and healing. Click To Tweet
WHAT IS TRAUMA
Google defines trauma as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.
An “experience”.
I disagree.
This way of defining trauma has not only caused a lot of misunderstanding, it’s one of the sources of hidden trauma. We’ll get into that kind of trauma below.
Integrated Listening defines trauma better.
Trauma is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self and their ability to feel the full range of emotions and experiences. (emphasis mine)
A “response”. >>>>> Yes.
Trauma isn’t an event or an experience.
Two people can go through the exact same experience and come away with completely different responses.
Trauma is the damage that takes place within the soul of a person as a result of an experience or event. Due to this, many traumas remain hidden and the damage not only effects the mind, will, and emotions, but leaks into the *body.
Trauma is personal and hidden trauma is a big problem.
“Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.” ― Danielle Bernock, Emerging with Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, and the Love That Heals
7 KINDS OF HIDDEN TRAUMA
Hidden trauma is something that can hide in us and suddenly appear just long enough to mess us up. That “sudden appearance’ is called the side-effects. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, hidden trauma is no respecter of persons.
Before I get into the side-effects here are 7 kinds of hidden trauma with a brief description.
Dismissed Trauma – This kind of trauma is hidden because the traumatized person can’t or won’t validate their trauma as trauma.
They dismiss it due to:
- Fear of repercussions
- Comparison with others causing them to see it as not that bad
- Thinking it makes them weak
- Perceiving it as normal because that’s all they’ve known
- Being told to suck it up and dismiss it
- Being invalidated by someone they care about
Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) – This kind of trauma is hidden because it’s something that didn’t happened. A child is emotionally neglected when a parent fails to adequately respond to their child’s needs.
Dr. Jonice Webb uses the term “enough”. This is because each child has different needs and a parent might respond, but simply not enough for that child.
With CEN an adult can’t see what didn’t happen to them as a child. Abuse is something that happened. CEN is the lack of something needed, that leaves behind a hole that has no memory. It’s not possible to validate something you don’t know exists.
Undetected PTSD – Undetected equals hidden. PTSD has been misunderstood, misrepresented, and stigmatized. Because of this many avoid having anything to do with the label. Women suffer more from undetected and undiagnosed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder than men.
According to Dr. Cira, a lot of women simply don’t know they are experiencing the effects of PTSD. “Women often internalize, meaning that instead of searching for answers in their world or circumstances, they assume something is wrong with them,” Dr. Cira explains. “So they might not attribute their own thoughts, feelings, emotions or behaviors to something that happened to them because they just figure this is who they are.” (source)
Authoritarian Wound – Although this has been a thing for a while, I just recently learned of the term. Another term for it can be “a family bully.”
According to Eric Maisel, millions of men have been wounded in this way, with lifelong negative consequences. (source)
Uninvolved Parenting – This kind of hidden trauma is much like CEN but a little different, even though many articles combine them. With CEN a parent might respond and be involved, but not enough for the child’s emotional needs.
In uninvolved, the parent fails to respond leaving the child to themselves, not only emotionally but in other ways also.
Unhealed Core Wound – This kind of hidden trauma can be difficult to deal with. (I know from personal experience**.)
A person can address numerous things in their life and still find side-effects of trauma present. This is due to a root wound that still remains. The unhealed core wound must be identified to be healed.
Generational – This kind of hidden trauma is passed down from generation to generation in two different ways: transgenerational trauma, and intergenerational trauma. They are a cycle of traumatic responses stemming from an original trauma.
These seven hidden traumas can be healed if a person will do the inner work.
Finding your hidden trauma so you can address it will lead you freedom. Click To Tweet
SIDE EFFECTS
Below are just some of the plethora of side-effects trauma can cause in a person. This is by no means an exhaustive list.
- Eating disorders
- Repetitive compulsion
- Drawn to people who are bad for you
- Intrusive thoughts
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- Chronic despair
- Chronic anxiety
- Addictive tendencies
- Relationship problems
As I said above, hidden trauma is something that can hide in us and suddenly appear just long enough to mess us up. If you have such a thing, even if it’s not on this list, hidden trauma may be the cause.
Finding your hidden trauma so you can address it will lead you freedom.
WHAT NOW?
- Find the hidden trauma in your life by taking my Free Assessment HERE.
- Article: What to do About Your Trauma
- Article on CEN: Is This Missing From Your Childhood
Books referenced above
*The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk
**Chapter nine in Emerging With Wings – The Bullseye
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Great article!
Thanks for sharing this information with us.
Hopefully many people will be helped by this article.
Thank you for taking the time to let me know your thoughts, Janice.
And you’re welcome. It’s vitally important to me to get this message out. So many suffer and don’t know why. Not really. They have a clue. A maybe. But they dismiss it as not a big deal. Some even have what others call ‘capital T trauma’ and don’t own it for various reasons. I want to help people heal.
(In case you’re unaware, capital T trauma is trauma others validate as big enough to call trauma, while they call other trauma small t. I think that is sad. Trauma is trauma and everyone deserves healing.)
Thanks for sharing. I’m still working through my trauma. It’s such a slow process.
You’re welcome.
I’m glad you’re working through it. If I can help, please let me know.
God Bless you.
Thank you for this post Danielle! We talk about 2 types of trauma — Type “B” trauma — Bad thing happened, what’s usually thought of as trauma. But you brought our Type “A” trauma — the Absence of the necessary good thing, and it’s just as damaging. Thank you so much for raising awareness to the different kinds of Type A trauma that so many people suffer from without recognizing it for the trauma that it is. Like you said, it’s much easier to heal when you realize what you’re healing from.
You’re welcome, Dave.
I’ve not heard of the A/B way of referring to trauma before. That’s clever. I like that it’s not invalidating or dismissive like other things I’ve heard.
Raising awareness is a big aspect of what I do.
I must make the invisible seen or the silently wounded will never heal or embrace their God-given greatness.
This is my mission. I want to set free a million souls by my 65th birthday.
Thank you for not just reading, but taking the time to leave a comment. It means so much.
Thank you for everything! I just bought your two books and can’t wait to read them and then get on with my life. Thank you for sharing your knowledge! Its soooo needed! 🙂
You’re welcome, Pamela. Helping is what I’m here for. Thank you. Please write a nice review on Amazon for them. It helps spread the message. God Bless you!!
#thatladyontheinternetwholovesyou