Fear is something we all face. What if every time you had to face fear there was a question to help you? A question that would provide wisdom and courage? There is. What is the worst that could happen?
It’s simple but profound. I didn’t grasp how helpful it was until I used it to face fear in a certain situation. It not only helped me face my fear but overcome it.
Not all fear we face gives us the opportunity to ask a question. Being able to ask a question when facing fear implies there’s time for a decision.
Dealing with fear in the face of opportunity is the type of fear I’m talking about.
When opportunity knocks ask yourself a question.
When opportunity knocks ask What is the worst that can happen? Click To Tweet
WHAT A QUESTION DOES
Fear threatens. It threatens with what if this happens or what if that happens.
Yet many times we don’t recognize the questions fear is threatening us with. Turning the tables on fear and asking yourself a question challenges the threat.
Asking yourself a question puts fear in the submissive position and you in the assertive or superior position.
Asking yourself a question gives you the upper hand. You’re demanding the fear to prove why you should listen to it.
Fear can be debilitating. Asking a question breaks you free from it, restoring your power through choice.
The answer to the question will give you courage and clarity to move forward with a decision.
Asking yourself a question will alter your mindset.
Asking yourself a question will alter your mindset. Click To Tweet
YOU WANT A TRUTHFUL ANSWER
When opportunity knocks ask What is the worst that can happen?
Ask this question seriously, not flippantly. You want a truthful answer.
Could you die? Could you go broke? Could you fail?
What this question is trying to uncover is –
- what is it going to cost you?
- can you pay it?
- is it worth the risk?
Let’s look at these.
You could die. If this is a real possibility maybe you want to rethink moving forward. But maybe you’re looking at skydiving, you trust the safety protocols and it’s worth the risk to you. Maybe death is just an empty threat due to intense emotions.
You could go broke. How broke are you talking about here? On the streets broke or miss paying bills broke? Is the threat bigger than the reality?
You could fail. What would this failure look like? What would come after that? Chances are this threat of failure is carrying the feeling of it’s the end of the world when it really isn’t.
Asking the question brings the threat out into the light and exposes three things.
- the emptiness of the threat
- the realness of risk
- the hard thing to do
When the threat is empty the fear dissipates.
When there’s a real risk you can evaluate if the risk is worth it.
When the difficult is revealed you can prepare yourself to do what’s hard.
By getting a truthful answer you’ve already faced the fear head-on in your mind and emotions.
Asking yourself a question puts fear in the submissive position and you in the assertive or superior position. Click To Tweet
TAKING ACTION
Now that you’ve asked the question you can make an informed decision. You’ve already felt and faced the fear and are emotionally prepared to take action.
Consider these words from the Bible.
Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap. – Ecclesiastes 11:4 (NIV)
This is allowing fear to be the master.
Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well. – Ecclesiastes 11: 6 (NIV)
This is taking action in the face of risk.
Fear loses its power when boxed inside calculated risk.
Asking yourself a question gives you the upper hand. You’re demanding the fear to prove why you should listen to it. Click To Tweet
HOW IT WORKS
When presented with a new opportunity it’s both exciting and scary. Doing things for the first time is always outside our comfort zone simply because it’s new.
After you’ve done something once the fear dissipates into experience. Experience is more comfortable.
Here’s a story of how it worked for me.
It was my first book reading of Emerging With Wings at a small book store. I felt so honored. I also felt fear and anxiety. I tried pushing back by pressing into the excitement but that wasn’t working for me.
The fear threatened in the back of my mind.
What if no one comes? What if they laugh and point at you like that mom did in 6th grade? What if you do it wrong?
Then I asked myself the question.
What is the worst that could happen? Seriously.
My honest answers.
If no one comes I’ll speak to an empty room and get experience.
The likelihood of them laughing at me is pretty slim, but if they do they’re the one with a problem.
There isn’t any wrong way to do it, you’re criticizing yourself before you start.
Imagining the worst prepared an overcoming response in me.
Being prepared for the worst silences fear and makes reality so much easier.
Fear loses its power when boxed inside calculated risk. Click To Tweet
MY RESULTS
I imagine you’re wondering.
How did it go? Did anyone show up? Did they laugh? What happened???
It wasn’t awesome or awful.
Even though I’d practiced repeatedly beforehand: I still stumbled in my speech.
Even though I’d advertised this reading to people I know and on all my social media profiles: other than the store employees I had my husband and one other person show.
Even though it was a small crowd of four: I was asked great questions and we had a wonderful discussion.
Even though it was scary: I did it and I’m glad. Now it’s experience!
I’m glad I asked myself that question. Instead of allowing fear to be my master, I became the master of my response.
Even if your results are disappointing, they can also be empowering.
Being prepared for the worst silences fear and makes reality so much easier. Click To Tweet
WHAT NEXT
- God has put purposes and dreams inside each of us. What is in your heart?
- What fear are you dealing with right now? Share in the comments and let me encourage you.
- Dare to believe you can overcome – join my email list and get this declaration
Words to empower you: Christ gives me the strength to face anything. Philippians 4:13
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I fear sharing what I write. It is being judged. It is the fear of my work not holding up to the judgement of my peers. It is scary. I am an introvert who finds it so difficult to be outside of my comfort zone.
Your quote from Ecclesiastes 11:6 might just be at the base of why I cannot sit empty handed, particularly in the evening. I am a hardcore needleworker. Handstitching, knitting, quilting, crochet etc.
I enjoy your posts.
Thank you, Karen.
I understand that fear of sharing. I validate that it’s scary.
I remember when I first released my book Emerging With Wings. My greatest fear was that someone would actually read it. I was terrified. I share things in there that are embarrassing and that I felt shame about. But I felt it had to be shared. Now many “someones” have read it. I heard from many how my writing helped them and it motivated me to promote my book and that led me into blogging. Now I’m working on my next book. One step at a time – take courage my friend.
Thanks Danielle. The encouragement is very helpful.
You’re welcome, Karen.
My pleasure.
I recently accepted an invitation to be interviewed on a podcast after refusing for months out of fear. I wish I had these tools. When I finally pushed past the fear, recorded with the host, and mostly enjoyed the interview, I discovered why I’d been afriad, what the worst thing to happen was–because it did.happen.
I shared too much. I wasn’t emotionally ready to divulge the thoughts about my past.
But it is OK.
I’m glad I did it. It felt so good.
These tools are going straight into my toolbox.
Thank you.
Glad my question is helpful for you and being added to your toolbox. Praise God for good tools!!
I understand that feeling of sharing too much.
I learned a term from Brené Brown called vulnerability hangover. The feeling you get when you feel like you’ve shared too much. Been there many times. Like with my book Emerging With Wings. But then I got feedback about how it helped people and that was my purpose. And then recently I wondered if I had done that with the podcast interview I just did. But my husband encouraged me that what I shared was true and it’s my life, so it’s all good.
Now I’m focusing on my speech for an organization this Thursday. We’ll see how that comes out. 🙂
Thanks for sharing, Kara.
The questions you listed made so much sense to me. They helped me make a very important decision. I have been debating whether I would start driving again. I hate not being able to come and go at my leisure. After serious contemplation, the risks are just not worth it.
Wow, what a painful decision. I know you’ve been fighting so hard for your recovery.
I’m glad my questions were helpful and you have peace with your decision.
Thank you for sharing.
This is very powerful Danielle, full of motivation and encouragement. It’s also true, we’re never alone, we always have God in our corner, we just need to never forget. What a wonderful message.
Thank you, KD! I’m glad you enjoyed it and found it useful.
You’re right – we all need reminders.
Thanks for sharing your encouraging words.
“Even if your results are disappointing, they can also be empowering.” Such a great point! Sometimes I’ll be afraid to share something or I’ll feel anxious anticipating something, and then it WILL be disappointing. But I can learn so much from these situations — so much more than if I had just sat on the sidelines!
Thanks, Kate.
Disappointment and failure can be good teachers if we let them.
Thanks for sharing.