Everyone suffers pain in life. I’m talking about emotional pain. And sadly, many suffer for years, oftentimes alone. It doesn’t have to be that way.
You have the power to change another person’s life by entering their pain. (See the video at the bottom)
You have the power to change your life by letting someone else enter your pain.
Entering someone else’s pain, or allowing them entrance into your pain can be scary. But it’s worth the risk.
There’s powerful healing in courageous sharing.
TRAUMA IS PERSONAL BUT YOU’RE NOT ALONE
I learned this through the experience of sharing my pain with a counselor while writing my first book.
By allowing her to enter my pain I received validation I didn’t know I needed. I also learned how deeply personal trauma is.
“Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.” ~Danielle Bernock, Emerging with Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, and the Love That Heals
That quote from my book was a profound revelation to me because I’d dismissed most of my trauma as not being trauma. I was surprised to discover it all over the internet and even in other authors books.
How it resonated with others helped solidify its truth in my soul and I wasn’t alone.
SHARING EXPOSES TRUTH AND LIES
I suffered multiple traumas in my childhood. They were never addressed because I hid them or didn’t know they were trauma. Because of that there was a silent pretending that the injuries didn’t occur, the pain wasn’t real, and I was making a big deal out of nothing. That was a lie.
By sharing my discounted pain the lies were exposed and I took ownership of the truth that my soul was traumatized.
Owning that, along with someone entering my pain and validating it, empowered me to move forward.
Seeing the truth and lies in my life wasn’t enough. I needed to do something with them. There was much inner work to do and sharing my pain was part of my process.
You cannot heal what you do not address.
HEALING IS A CHOICE AND A PROCESS
There’s a quote that says, “to heal a wound you have to stop touching it.” This is both true and false.
True if you have a scab that you keep picking. It won’t heal. Or it’ll take longer and leave an unnecessary scar.
False if you have a wound that needs *microsurgery. This is a process that requires repetitive touching of the wound for it to be healed properly.
When we are in pain in our soul we are wounded with emotional trauma. Choosing to address and heal soul wounds requires a type of microsurgery.
- To “not touch” your wound is to ignore it and it will never heal. This leaves you in pain.
- To “pick the scab” would be to constantly think about it (ruminate) but do nothing to help it heal. This leaves you in self-pity seeing yourself as a victim.
- To heal you must choose soul microsurgery. This is the only path to healing.
Choosing soul microsurgery involves uprooting the lies and replacing them with truth. Healing is a process and it’s best done with help. You’re not alone. Let someone enter your pain – a friend, pastor, counselor, or coach.
If you’ll choose to heal you’ll emerge stronger through the process.
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. —Kahlil Gibran
SUCCESS STORY
Today is my granddaughter Mia’s eight birthday.
Eight years ago my daughter almost died during pregnancy from something called HELLP syndrome. Mia had to be removed from her body to save her life, and the doctors were uncertain if either would survive. It was horribly traumatic. I get choked up sharing just that little excerpt.**
But the success part is not only did they both live, but my daughter shared her pain. Both with trusted friends and with a therapist. She chose the microsurgery of healing and she got good results from all her hard work.
Each of us goes through things that wound us and change us. Trauma is personal. There is no comparing, just validating and healing.
How we heal (or don’t heal) determines if we become a success story.
TAKE ACTION
Listen to the video below and choose one of these 3 things
- Reach out for help, let someone enter your pain – a friend, pastor, counselor, or coach.
- Reach out to help – enter someone else’s pain.
- Share this article to help someone else heal.
* An illustrative story of microsurgery is found in this book.
** The full story is found in this book.
If you want to love someone, search their soul for where it’s broken. Find the cracks and pour your heart in…
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