Losing your cool isn’t just about anger. It’s about losing the ability to think rationally and remain calm. I started losing my cool one day when my computer froze. I’d just gotten it fixed. It really pushed my button and I felt a rush of emotions.
I knew I needed to get ahold of myself quickly so I didn’t lose it. I needed to do something to UNpush my button. It took some time but I succeeded.
Here are 6 things you can do when you start to lose your cool.
HOW IT STARTS
Losing our cool happens through provocation. Many times it’s something repetitive or consecutive. In my case it was the latter.
My computer issue was just one of many in a string of negative things that took place over a months’ time. Irritations, aggravations, physical injuries, strange happenings and disappointments piled up.
When the computer thing happened it was like a fire alarm went off in my emotions. The kind that’s loud and has the accompanying flashing lights.
When a fire alarm goes off people tend to freeze or panic. I felt the inclination to both.
I needed to turn the emotional fire alarm off.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. Psalm 46:1 Click To Tweet
1 – PRAY
The first thing I did was pray. I’d spent hours the day before on a writing project and hadn’t saved it on my exterior hard drive.
I felt the danger of loss.
I felt the panic.
I felt the emotional surge trying to sweep me away from rational thinking.
I needed an anchor. God is my anchor so I prayed.
I prayed for help. I didn’t know what help would look like but I believed somehow help would come.
Praying created hope in me that began to quiet the emotional fire alarm.
Praying created hope in me that began to quiet the emotional fire alarm. Click To TweetGod is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. Psalm 46:1
2 – CALM YOUR BODY
Raging emotions affect our physical body. Being physically agitated will get in the way of solving a problem.
After I prayed I sought to physically calm myself.
I took a minute. I took intentional slow deep breaths. I walked away from the computer, away from the situation. I reminded myself this situation is not everything. No matter what happens I’ll be ok.
This helped to calm my body from the emotional agitation.
Calming my body helped me think straight so I could hear the help I’d prayed for.
Being physically agitated will get in the way of solving a problem. Click To TweetGetting stress out of your life takes more than prayer alone. You must take action to make changes and stop doing whatever is causing the stress. You can learn to calm down in the way you handle things. Joyce Meyer
3 – DO WHAT YOU KNOW
When something happens we can reach into our memory banks and look for solutions. Find out what we know and do that.
I did what I knew to unstick my computer. Pushed the esc button. Pushed control/alt/delete to call up the task manager. Tried to access the power controls to reboot. Pressed the off button to shut it off. Nothing worked.
I did what I knew until I ran out of options.
Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. Maya Angelou Click To TweetDo the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.Maya Angelou
4 – DON’T GIVE UP
When the problem isn’t solved and losing your cool is still threatening resist the temptation to quit. Resist the feeling of hopelessness.
Pray again.
Calm yourself again.
Look for more solutions.
Every problem has a solution and keeping your cool is possible.
Every problem has a solution and keeping your cool is possible. Click To TweetResolve never to quit, never to give up, no matter what the situation. Jack Nicklaus
5 – RESOLVE
Looking for more solutions I found two. I liked one far better than the other.
Solution one was to find a way to reboot the computer and it work just fine. The other solution was to get a new computer.
I happened to be on the phone with my daughter while I was trying to not lose my cool about my problem. She suggested I take the battery out. That will make it shut off but it’s not a guarantee it will start again.
It did start again and worked. But that was no guarantee this wouldn’t happen again.
In resolving a problem there’s always something to learn.
In resolving a problem there’s always something to learn. Click To TweetThere are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. Willa Cather
6 – LEARN
There were reasons I started to lose my cool in that situation.
One was the stressors I’d not had control over. But another was I’d not prepared properly by saving my work.
I save my work every time now and I’m looking into buying a new computer.
Losing our cool happens to all of us at some time. Remember to give yourself grace.
Learning is the power to prepare. Life hits the fire alarm in our emotions and preparation is wise. Trouble happens.
Life hits the fire alarm in our emotions and preparation is wise. Trouble happens. Click To TweetI have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. Jesus
WHAT NOW
- When was the last time you started to lose your cool? What has worked for you? Share in the comments.
- If you’ve beaten yourself up for losing your cool read this article.
- Want help dealing with anger issues go here.
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Danielle, these are all really good tips because I think everyone who has a beating heart can say they’ve had a melt down at some point in their life…So giving out these tips will help a great deal. Never give up and always take that minute to stop and just breathe…Praying…yes Danielle, such a good idea..How could I ever forget…God. Danielle, I just adore you…You’re such an amazing person who does so many great things to lift so many people up. Keep going. I’m always in your corner!
Thank you, KD and I think you’re right. Everyone has had a meltdown at some point. Some more than others. I know I’ve had a few. One was so epic that it changed my life. It went way past “losing your cool”. But I learned from it. Learning is good. So is taking a minute to breathe. I do that every day and it helps. Not a cure all, but it helps and I’ll take all the help I can get.
I think you’re pretty awesome too, KD. You’re so encouraging and supportive. I appreciate you so much! Thanks again!
I really liked the way you said “Learning is the power to prepare” That really made my pause & think. I also liked the Maya Angelou quote “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better”. It promotes the idea of “doing better” but still validates that we’re doing our best with what we know. Sometimes after we learn something, we smack ourselves in the forehead and say “I wish I would’ve known that back then!”.
Thanks, Michael. That’s awesome. I’m so glad it made you pause and think. Learning is important but we need to give ourselves the grace to do so. That grace is what helps stop us from smacking ourselves. Our best is good enough. It’s all we have.
Thanks for sharing!
As a recovering person in a 12 Step program I’ve learned to use many of the of the slogans “Let go and Let God” is one of the best for me. This one helps me a lot. But preventative measures like daily pray, meditation, exercise, writing in my journal etc.,have made all the difference. I compare it to having a bank account that I make regular deposits to. When I have an emergency melt down I can draw on those resources when I really need them.
That’s a cool way to look at it. Preparation being like a bank account. Thanks for sharing, Catherine!
Great post with such helpful tips for putting a lid on losing it! There is nothing like computer issues to trigger us writers and bloggers into a frenzy! Enjoyed reading this Danielle.
Thanks, Cori. You’re right about computer issues!
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Thanks for one marvelous posting! I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you, Jenifer. I”m glad you liked it. Thanks for sharing.